The loss of a loved one is one of the most intense and traumatic experiences of an embodied life time. Depending on the nature of the relationship and energy connections, the loss may be THE most intense and traumatic experience of an embodied lifetime.On October 31, 2011 my beloved soulmate, Carol Susan, disembodied as her beautiful radiant spirit left her physical body to return to our spirit realm home. The disembodiment of my soulmate has been THE most intense and traumatic experience of my embodied life. I have experienced the hellfires of grief, black nights of the soul, a broken heart, and my embodied soul's lament. The image is of being repeatedly struck by invisible black lightning during a raging storm that has no end.The work of grief is grieving. This may seem self evident; however, in a culture that abhors dying, death, grief, and grieving; the work of grieving is encouraged to remain underground - to be experienced in private or better still forgotten. 111 Things That Help Grieving offers suggestions and recommendations to honor the disembodied (usually called "the dead") and to honor the embodied (usually called "the living"). Achieving balance between honoring the disembodied and honoring the embodied is complex work and a major focus of many of the world's wisdom traditions.The work of grief is complicated by seeing primarily through eyes of loss. Recovery of seeing with eyes of love brings healing energy essential for the work of grieving. The transformation is a slow and painful process as eyes of loss often prevail. A major focus of 111 Things That Help Grieving is to slowly and with great effort restore the balance between loss and love so that love continues to flow between the two souls - one embodied -one disembodied.111 Things That Help Grieving is organized into five sections. The first section, the experience of grief, describes licking the woundedness of loss with words, concepts, and images. Section two consists of actions, activities, things to do including establishing sacred space to conduct ceremonies and other healing actions. Section three focuses on healing in concentrated form. Healing is an ongoing process as the woundedness of loss is a lifelong experience. Healing from loss is a complex process described in energy terms rather than physical woundedness.Section four recommends the eighteen books that have provided the most benefit of the many death, dying, grief, grieving, and bereavement books I have read. Each book is briefly described with a few brief quotations included to enable sampling the book's voice.Section five, Alchemy of the Heart, uses the images, language, and concepts of alchemy in a feeble attempt to comprehend the mysteries of love - the radiant gold of abundance in great measure and loss - the black lead of abundance in great measure with the abundance being grief and the experiences of the hellfires of grief and black nights of the soul. The mysteries of transformation are explored using alchemical processes to describe a small golden flame in the midst of the black fires of grief. One of the final mysteries hidden within the hellfires of grief is eternal love - abundance beyond measure. Alchemy of the heart describes love loss grief transformation eternal love swirling in the heart of hearts of the embodied soul whose loved one has disembodied.It is the purpose of 111 Things That Help Grieving to help the grieving embodied soul lick the woundedness of loss, assist in the discovery of healing energy, and provide a measure of comfort, solace, and the transformative golden energy of eternal love. May you be blessed beyond measure with golden dreams and eternal love.
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