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In the decadent setting of 1920s Paris, the grand magus Alexander Tabasco, a hedonistic occultist, becomes infatuated with the actress Mary. Despite his repeated failures to woo her through conventional and supernatural means, the beastly magician finally succeeds in gaining her affections via a combination of fine desserts and readily available narcotics. Their partnership quickly devolves into a chaotic mess of a marriage filled with infidelity and alcoholism, with a final act so terrifying it leaves the magus running for his life. This short story collection also features other tales of occult fiction such as the satirical Lovecraftian "Meat Head" and "The Eldritch Gingersnaps Gang", as well as "Jake: A Funko Pop Love Story", in which a high school wizard makes a pact with a particularly gruesome demon, followed up by the Hellish romance novel parody "The Angel and the Devil", the chronicle of how Satan found his true love in the form of a sadistic happy-go-lucky Angel of Wrath. Herein lies a composition of wicked humor, satirical twists, and infernal romance for those who delight in laughing at the macabre while dancing with the devil! "Surgat was an odd horned thing who could open any lock, but when Alexander sent the demon to throw open the barriers guarding her affections, the spirit only returned that evening with a shrug and a statement- "The doors of her heart are encased in the steel of a thousand cherubim." Alexander simply dismissed the demon, and thought- "I will have to try harder"."