Astrophysics for People in a Hurry comprises 13 essays that appeared in Natural History magazine from 1995 to 2006, updated and expanded, with a new essay on black holes. It is concise enough to fulfil all expectations of the title but long enough to contain meaningful science made fully accessible by one of the great science popularizers of our time. Chapters include: Let There Be Light; Periodic Table of the Cosmos; Gravity in Reverse: Delusions of Centrality: The Cosmic Perspective; and The Greatest Story Ever Told.