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Somebody asked my why did you or why do you write? Well in my prologue I explained what I saw and tried to imitate because I just had to do something to make myself feel better about what I actually thought about my living circumstances and life. In childhood and in most of my life I had scars and secretes, conflicts in my relationships. I had to find a way to let my true self come out without being knocked out all the time..so while people in the house or school played or just slept...I had my dreams and fantasies and desires and I just wanted to speak up and out. I use to want to be a DJ…mehr

Produktbeschreibung
Somebody asked my why did you or why do you write? Well in my prologue I explained what I saw and tried to imitate because I just had to do something to make myself feel better about what I actually thought about my living circumstances and life. In childhood and in most of my life I had scars and secretes, conflicts in my relationships. I had to find a way to let my true self come out without being knocked out all the time..so while people in the house or school played or just slept...I had my dreams and fantasies and desires and I just wanted to speak up and out. I use to want to be a DJ cause I loved music loved to see people dance and sing on the Ed Sullivan show..but I never got the opportunity because of my real life responsibilities . I felt hurt and had too many secretes and not enough positive support. So Chocolate Covered Candy was a band aid to stop me from bleeding when I felt I was pouring out blood. Stopped me from being a dope fiend too I guess. It was a life saver and companionship when I felt ostracized and nasty and alone. It was foot steps in the sand for me to see when I was not feeling like walking in this life no more. For you I just hope it is good and entertaining for your read...not everybody knows embarrassment, poverty, molestation and childhood depression. Some people don't even know about living single with children...and addictions that come. You won't learn it all through my words but you can become more understanding to 'that life' after experiencing the thoughts of one of its participants. I pray.
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Autorenporträt
I was born in the south. My parents came from opposite sides of the railroad tracks. My father was an only child and his mother could pass for white. She lived close to the stores and businesses and she had long black hair and was nice looking. Racism was very prevalent. Even my father's mother was prejudice She was grandiose and didn't like dark skinned people. She was called 'pinky' and' Jezzebel' by others and she only dated well to do while men after her husband was killed by the klan. My mother came from the other side of the tracks where there were farms and plantations. Her skin was chocolate her hair was shiny and long and she had a pretty face and smile. Her family was huge. She had 14 brothers and sisters. 8 brothers and 6 girls. Their mother would walk to town with a rifle with her kids s behind her. In Mississippi if you could control your kids ...the white men might take them from you and hang them. When my mother was 13, she had a boyfriend and they were walking her home when a group of white men on horses grabbed them both and hung him from a tree and made her watch it. My mother didn't walk to school anymore and that's why her moma carried a rifle when she went to town. That's where I came from. My father was in the service and drank a lot. Many of the colored people were migrating North to the city lights and steel mills and factories because slavery was over and they wanted a change. My relatives started packing and leaving also but my father was an only child so he was torn between his mother and his love for my mom. He tried the big city for a minute but it made him depressed and alcoholic my mother told him he needed to go back home to his moma. I was about 3 when he left but it changed me. I was a daddy's girl and I missed him but my mother made him stay away and she had brothers and cousins to watch over her. They came for her and they could not replace my father's love. We both suffered separation anxiety/. I grew up wishing on a star and isolated. I felt unbalanced and poor and it affected my personality and relationships I was attracted to the arts and comedy. The life that I lived was not enough for me. My mother was sickly and single and determined to stay in the city of Cleveland with her brothers and cousins because the South had too many bad memories and had scared her for life. I did not understand I just knew I had a dad that I could not see and I wanted to know him. My bruised heart and hopes and dreams are what started me to write. I didn't have a lot of positive support so my writing was the band aid to stop. me from bleeding to death. Call if my life saver when I felt nasty, defeated and alone I could tell my diary everything and not be judged. God's the one who does that. That's what I know. I sent you a few pages mom about the author I hope you read through and give it some thought. My past is very colorful and I just gave a glimpse. Did not say anything about mole station but that was to keep family secrets locked up. Basically, I was depressed and socially withdrawn for my protection and suffered separation anxiety. I had to hear about my dad but I was kept from my dad because my mother didn't trust him with me especially after I accused one of my cousins of molesting me. And he did but it was just kept secret because she loved her brother and needed him. Just text or call. I am working on the kids' books now. This year a prophet has told me that I will be sustained by God's grace and be victorious. My break through is coming.