Harold Ivan Smith

Friendgrief

An Absence Called Presence

• Broschiertes Buch

Produktbeschreibung

This book not only examines friendgrief from a theoretical and clinical framework, but also Smith offers fascinating vignettes from the lives of well-known friendgrievers such as Elton John, Diane Sawyer, Ralph Abernathy, C. S. Lewis, Harry Truman, Tommy Lasorda, Jimmy Carter, Fritz Mondale, Bill Clinton, Calvin Trillin, and Alan King. The author includes moving narratives of numerous individuals who have never gained notoriety but have become seasoned friendgrievers.

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Produktdetails

• Verlag: Routledge
• Seitenzahl: 282
• Erscheinungstermin: 19. Dezember 2018
• Englisch
• Abmessung: 229mm x 152mm x 15mm
• Gewicht: 413g
• ISBN-13: 9780415784702
• ISBN-10: 0415784700
• Artikelnr.: 54877673

Autorenporträt

Harold Ivan Smith is a member of the American Academy of Bereavement, teaches at Saint Luke's Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri, and serves on the board of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. He is also a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling and the National Hospice Association's Council of Professionals.

Inhaltsangabe

Chapter 1 Introduction Click to read the Introduction
Friends die. For many adults friendgrief is an occasional intrusion; for
others a continual process: Who in my circle of friends will be next?
Chapter 2 Losing a Friend
Disenfranchisement of friendgrief is significant. Why should a clinician
care about friendships or friendgrief? First, clinicians will have friends
die. Secondly, clinicians will have clients devastated by the death of a
friend. By understanding the dynamic nature of friendgrief, clinicians can
be more resourceful.
Chapter 3 Defining a Friendship
What does one mean by "friend?" In a a clinical setting definition and
clarification of operative terms are essential since a definition frames
the parameters in which the friendship and the grief can be examined. Three
broad categories of friendship are: "casual," "close," and "best" friend.
Friendgrief is shaped by the definition of the friendship at the time of
death.
Chapter 4 Recognizing the Friendorbit
The friendorbit, a sociological paradigm, will be introduced to understand
the dynamics of friend networks and the impact of death and loss. The
principles and components of the friendorbit model will be explained and
used to illustrate the dynamic nature of friendships.
Chapter 5 Being Supportive Immediately After a Friend's Death
Historically, friends support the chief mourner and family members.
Friendgrief must not compete with, overshadow, or complicate the grief of
the family. This expectation motivates many friends to ignore their own
grief and the needs of others in the friendorbit in order to concentrate on
the needs of the family.
Chapter 6 Offering Hospitality
Friends offer hospitality. Rapid cultural change has significantly altered
traditional expectations. How does a friend respond if family requests or
demands are unreasonable? If other friends do not assume a reasonable share
of hospitality. Offering hospitality may interfere with a friend
acknowledging grief.
Chapter 7 Honoring a Friend by Attending the Visitation
What level of participation in prefuneral, funeral, and postfuneral rituals
can be expected of a friend? An individual honors a friend by attending
rituals such as the visitation; the funeral or memorial service; and
prehaps, the committal or scattering. The visitation may be more valuable
to friends than the funeral because it is conversation oriented while the
funeral is liturgy or ritual focused.
Chapter 8 Honoring a Friend by Attending the Funeral/Memorial Service and
Committal
Individuals honor friends by attending funerals. Attendance is an
obligation, although in this culture in which death is increasingly
privatized, many individuals have never attended a funeral for a peer.
Mobility impacts attendance at rituals.
Chapter 9 Praying In Friendgrief
Although prayer and praying carry a great deal of emotional and spiritual
baggage, individuals pray for deceased friends as a means of continuing
bonds. Friends also pray for grace to reconcile with the loss.
Chapter 10 Pallbearing a Friend
Pallbearers participate in a contemporary reenactment of an ancient drama.
The most historic way individuals, at least males, have demonstrated grief
for friends: by carrying a friend to a final resting place. Bearing a
friend's casket can be one of life's most sobering experiences.
Chapter 11 Eulogizing a Friend
The essential elements for a meaningful eulogy by a friend are: The
friend-eulogist speaks as a representative; is grieving; and gives an
accurate witness to the life of this particular friend. The friend-eulogist
stimulates the memories of mourners, honestly remembers and affirms the
deceased, and honors, sometimes creatively, the character of the deceased.
Chapter 12 Responding Graciously
Friends promise future assistance, touch, and validate. Making and
redeeming promises are ways to maintain the bonds of friendship. Touching,
although far more subjective, benefits the giver and the receiver. Friends
may be asked to validate decisions of the chief mourner as well as others
in the friendorbit.
Chapter 13 Remember Friends
The fear of being forgotten may be universal among humans. Remembering is
an important act by a friend. Memory cannot be disenfranchised. Some
friendorbits have the equivalent of the official "rememberer." It is
important for friends to remember realistically.