Journey Down the Muddy Road
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""Have you ever been triggered and started daydreaming where you keep re-living the scene over and over. Well, that was me, I have been stuck for a decade. More and more things appear from my past that I just wanted to get out of my head. Now I have. As a child my life was terrible. Not all terrible, but some of things were. Those are the things I can't let go of. One day I was in church and was wondering why do I pick terrible men? Why do I make these decisions? Why am I the way I am? Why was I silent and never told my parents? Why? My pastor sat me down and started to ask me about my childho...
""Have you ever been triggered and started daydreaming where you keep re-living the scene over and over. Well, that was me, I have been stuck for a decade. More and more things appear from my past that I just wanted to get out of my head. Now I have. As a child my life was terrible. Not all terrible, but some of things were. Those are the things I can't let go of. One day I was in church and was wondering why do I pick terrible men? Why do I make these decisions? Why am I the way I am? Why was I silent and never told my parents? Why? My pastor sat me down and started to ask me about my childhood. When I tell you I suppressed everything from my childhood it was crazy. I am 36 years old, and this was about 13 years ago where everything re-surfaced and now I am livid. Trigger after trigger, I remember more and more. I just wanted to write it down, so I can move on. Certain times while writing I would cry, buy a bottle of wine and just cry. Pitiful! When that wouldn't work, I wrote funny poems; which helped. These poems aren't perfect as this is my first time writing but I am proud that I tried. I am trying to heal from my mistakes, childhood, just everything.""
