Lazerman is extremely proud of his high school education. He is also outrageously opinionated and politically incorrect but doesn't realize it and there is not a mean or angry bone in his body. When his friend becomes the unintended victim of a practical joke gone terribly wrong he discovers the reason, a deadly coven of Vampires secretly inhabiting the caverns beneath a beautiful and seemingly tranquil cemetery. Lazerman vows revenge and assembles an eccentric yet comical team of scientists and Vampire hunters as he travels to New Orleans with its infamous quadroon balls thru the deadly swamps of Florida and into Nevada's infamous Area 51. Unfortunately the Vampires are watching....and waiting.