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You once asked me if I am not aware of your love for me. The so praised motherly love, the so adherent love you harbor for your own mother, my Nano Jan. As usual I did not know how to answer that question, partly because I know that as an obligation, as a Pflicht, you do love me but also because you never let me feel loved by you. In Furcht, I would be spoiled by it. But I am starved. But perhaps I starved myself of it in my own mind thinking I don not deserve your motherly love. Thinking one should not be obliged to love anyone, even their own child. In truth I can never completely answer that question as the reasons harbor many detailed reasons.