"Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever? Can we want what we already have? Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster? Does good intimacy always make for good sex?" Ether Perel takes on these tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. In her twenty years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on? In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms. While "Mating in Captivity "shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.
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"As revelatory as it is straightforward...nicely accessible...[Perel] offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." - Publishers Weekly
"Perel tells us why intimacy can feel imprisoning and how we can embrace the erotic-without leaving home. Her writing is fresh and provocative, in a class by itself." - Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
"Her advice is refreshingly counterintuitive." - Salon.com
"Mating in Captivity takes a hard line against one of the most time-honored institutions in human history: the sexless marriage...It reads like a cross between the works of Jacques Lacan and French Women Don't Get Fat." - The New Yorker
"Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." - The Evening Standard (London)
"An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary and anthropological references." - Daily Telegraph (London)
"An academic perspective on the deterioration of sex in relationships...Perel offers insightful, progressive theories on how to put the play back into partnerships." - Daily Record & Sunday Mail
"A charming blend of wit and wisdom...this book will give you a fresh perspective on long-term love." - Gold Coast Bulletin (Australia)
"Well argued points written with considerable eloquence." - Jerusalem Post
"This is a brave book...refreshing." - The Times Higher Education Supplement
"So honest it hurts." - Irish Times
"An excellent book, full of provocative prose and entertaining case illustrations." - Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
"Perel tells us why intimacy can feel imprisoning and how we can embrace the erotic-without leaving home. Her writing is fresh and provocative, in a class by itself." - Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
"Her advice is refreshingly counterintuitive." - Salon.com
"Mating in Captivity takes a hard line against one of the most time-honored institutions in human history: the sexless marriage...It reads like a cross between the works of Jacques Lacan and French Women Don't Get Fat." - The New Yorker
"Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." - The Evening Standard (London)
"An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary and anthropological references." - Daily Telegraph (London)
"An academic perspective on the deterioration of sex in relationships...Perel offers insightful, progressive theories on how to put the play back into partnerships." - Daily Record & Sunday Mail
"A charming blend of wit and wisdom...this book will give you a fresh perspective on long-term love." - Gold Coast Bulletin (Australia)
"Well argued points written with considerable eloquence." - Jerusalem Post
"This is a brave book...refreshing." - The Times Higher Education Supplement
"So honest it hurts." - Irish Times
"An excellent book, full of provocative prose and entertaining case illustrations." - Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy