As a new widow, I expected profound sadness, but was thrown off-guard by changing relationships and unexpected social awkwardness. I was upset with well-meaning people who: - offered "words of wisdom" - compared their prior losses to mine - introduced me as a widow before I was ready - failed to include me - assumed I'd be back on my feet after a year I was upset with myself for: - seeking too much sympathy - asking for help too often - responding unhappily to invitations - telling my story of loss to strangers - sharing the worst side of me with my closest friends In 45 essays, two voices describe the social challenges I encountered. My personal voice is overwhelmed with grief and my changing identity while my voice as a psychologist attempts to identify "what I can do for myself" to cope and move on.
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