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This humorous satire on communist Poland in the 1970's takes place in an imaginary hotel deep in the Tatra Forest of Poland. Based on a story within a story recounted to the author, the hotel is a luxurious facility which never had a name and is termed "NEZ" for No Entry Zone. Here a full detachment of Secret Service guards were dispatched, not only to "protect and serve," but to "protect and surveil" maids, waiters, bell boys, chefs, kitchen staff, and managers. Whether or not the secluded valley where NEZ once welcomed provincial governors and well- connected apparatchiks to its spa, excellent cuisine, unlimited wine and beer (and other pleasures best left to conjecture) ever existed, is left to the reader. Real or imaginary, this secret place is well worth exploring.