Your struggling teenager is going to a residential or wilderness treatment program. Their addictions, learning disabilities, or emotional/behavioral issues have brought you to a moment of decision. Heartsick, anxious, and exhausted, questions bounce endlessly around your mind, "Will this work? Was this really necessary? Will she ever forgive me? Can we handle him at home when the time comes?" Dr. Tim Thayne delivers the answers in his groundbreaking book Not by Chance. As an owner/therapist of wilderness and residential programs, Thayne was frustrated when young people made monumental…mehr
Your struggling teenager is going to a residential or wilderness treatment program. Their addictions, learning disabilities, or emotional/behavioral issues have brought you to a moment of decision. Heartsick, anxious, and exhausted, questions bounce endlessly around your mind, "Will this work? Was this really necessary? Will she ever forgive me? Can we handle him at home when the time comes?" Dr. Tim Thayne delivers the answers in his groundbreaking book Not by Chance. As an owner/therapist of wilderness and residential programs, Thayne was frustrated when young people made monumental progress, only to return home where things quickly unraveled. His mission became to vastly improve long-term success by crafting and proving a model to coach parents on their power to lead out through full engagement during treatment and management of the transition home. Not by Chance engages readers through solid research, simple exercises, and captivating stories taken from Thayne's own life and the living rooms of hundreds of American homes. This book serves up concrete tools, hope, confidence, and stamina for families, professionals and mentors. Topics include: ¿ Why good programs work ¿ How to boost-not undermine-treatment ¿ Nine dangers waiting after discharge ¿ How to identify natural mentors for your teen ¿ What to do when the testing begins ¿ When and how to grant back privileges and freedoms ¿ How to ease your young adult's transition from treatment to independent living ¿ When you know you've succeeded If you are even considering out-of-home treatment for your teen, do not gamble with the outcomes. Not by Chance should claim its rightful place on your nightstand. www.notbychance.comHinweis: Dieser Artikel kann nur an eine deutsche Lieferadresse ausgeliefert werden.
TIM THAYNE, After founding successful wilderness and residential teen treatment programs, in 2005 Tim Thayne created Homeward Bound to lead the movement to educate and support families, while greatly reducing relapse. Never one to underestimate the significance of transitions, Thayne guides parents in their crucial leadership roles as culture builders and change agents.
Inhaltsangabe
Acknowledgments Foreword Introduction The Worst Day of My Career The Purposes of this Book All or Nothing: What It Takes to Succeed Three Major Factors for Long-Term Success Parent Involvement Structure and Stability Aftercare Process Family System Focus What If My Teen Is Not Coming Home? Five Reasons to Engage in Family Work Molding the Context Have a Plan and Stick with It Teens May Have Agency, but Parents Have Empowerment Know When to Hold 'Em: How Good Treatment Programs Work Elements of a Powerful Therapeutic Milieu Consistency Is King Safety and Security A Structured Full Daily Schedule Clinical Component Good Staff Parent Participation Individualized Treatment Time Ready to Roll: Your Role While Your Teen is in Treatment It's Your Turn The Résumé of Failure The Ideal Relationship with Your Program Become a Partner in the Process Don't Be Laissez-Faire Be an Engaged Collaborator Treatment Resistant Family Dynamics The Enmeshed Family The Emotionally Detached Family The Polar and Divided Family Stages in the Parent/Program Partnership Letting Go Brace Yourself Re-engage Remodel the Relationship Lead by Example Make a Game Plan Get Unified with Your Co-parent Appraise the Home Environment Evaluate the Academic Environment Plan for Your Staying Power Jeopardy: What's Waiting after Discharge? Expectations Greenhouse to Garden Pack Early Hidden Waterfalls Discordant Parenting Waterfall Emotional Trigger Waterfall Power Struggle Waterfall Freedoms/Privileges Waterfall Not Knowing When or How to Let Go Waterfall Over-accommodation Waterfall Unclear Expectations/No Accountability Waterfall The Social Vacuum Waterfall Siblings Waterfall Stack the Deck: Your Community's Contribution Community is Key Natural vs. Assigned Mentors Talking About Treatment Acquaintances Siblings Extended Family and Close Friends Get Connected with Other Parents Micro-interventions Community Building in Our Day The Cheering Section: Recruiting Multiple Natural Mentors Identifying Home Team Members Extended Family Older Siblings Peer Mentors Adult Mentors Family History Adoption Overcoming the Bystander Effect Let's Make a Deal: The Excitement Phase Four Phases Talk it Out Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep Don't Cave In to Pressure Appraise the Friends Recognize Progress Identify Fears and Prepare Dump the Guilt Set Absolutes (Red Light Issues) Five Keys to Fair Consequences Stars in Our Eyes: The Honeymoon Phase Short, Sweet and Real Enjoy It but Don't Falsely Prolong It See Strengths Use Momentum Give Up Suspicion Twists and Turns: The Testing Phase First Signs Never, Ever Say... Talk It Out Stay Calm and Hold the Boundary Focus on Your Part When You Need a Coach Never, Never, Never Give Up Win the Day: The Maintenance Phase Don't Kick Back Expand the Privilege Pool Family Check-Ins Stop the Volcano Have Fun No Such Thing as Luck: Helping Your Teen Keep the Momentum Stretch Goals Call on the Home Team Motivating Teens Relapse Prevention Plan School Success Plan Daily Schedule Exercise Sleep Patterns Employment Service Hobbies and Play Social Interactions Your Turn: Parenting-The Number-One Thing Within Your Control Circle of Influence 1. Parenting Leadership Is Essential to Healthy Families. 2. Nurturing the Relationship is a Priority. 3. Clear Expectations Encourage Consistency and Teach Values. 4. Choice and Accountability Invite Growth. 5. Parental Unity Creates Family Stability and Strength. 6. Change Takes Time and Sustained Effort. 7. Parents Are the Most Powerful Agents of Change. The Game of Life: Over-eighteeners The Gap between Treatment and Independent Living Transition Programs Home Failure to Launch Tips to Make a Launch Successful We've Got a Winner: The Role of Aftercare In Long-Term Success Why Aftercare? What Success Looks Like Conclusion References INDEX
Acknowledgments Foreword Introduction The Worst Day of My Career The Purposes of this Book All or Nothing: What It Takes to Succeed Three Major Factors for Long-Term Success Parent Involvement Structure and Stability Aftercare Process Family System Focus What If My Teen Is Not Coming Home? Five Reasons to Engage in Family Work Molding the Context Have a Plan and Stick with It Teens May Have Agency, but Parents Have Empowerment Know When to Hold 'Em: How Good Treatment Programs Work Elements of a Powerful Therapeutic Milieu Consistency Is King Safety and Security A Structured Full Daily Schedule Clinical Component Good Staff Parent Participation Individualized Treatment Time Ready to Roll: Your Role While Your Teen is in Treatment It's Your Turn The Résumé of Failure The Ideal Relationship with Your Program Become a Partner in the Process Don't Be Laissez-Faire Be an Engaged Collaborator Treatment Resistant Family Dynamics The Enmeshed Family The Emotionally Detached Family The Polar and Divided Family Stages in the Parent/Program Partnership Letting Go Brace Yourself Re-engage Remodel the Relationship Lead by Example Make a Game Plan Get Unified with Your Co-parent Appraise the Home Environment Evaluate the Academic Environment Plan for Your Staying Power Jeopardy: What's Waiting after Discharge? Expectations Greenhouse to Garden Pack Early Hidden Waterfalls Discordant Parenting Waterfall Emotional Trigger Waterfall Power Struggle Waterfall Freedoms/Privileges Waterfall Not Knowing When or How to Let Go Waterfall Over-accommodation Waterfall Unclear Expectations/No Accountability Waterfall The Social Vacuum Waterfall Siblings Waterfall Stack the Deck: Your Community's Contribution Community is Key Natural vs. Assigned Mentors Talking About Treatment Acquaintances Siblings Extended Family and Close Friends Get Connected with Other Parents Micro-interventions Community Building in Our Day The Cheering Section: Recruiting Multiple Natural Mentors Identifying Home Team Members Extended Family Older Siblings Peer Mentors Adult Mentors Family History Adoption Overcoming the Bystander Effect Let's Make a Deal: The Excitement Phase Four Phases Talk it Out Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep Don't Cave In to Pressure Appraise the Friends Recognize Progress Identify Fears and Prepare Dump the Guilt Set Absolutes (Red Light Issues) Five Keys to Fair Consequences Stars in Our Eyes: The Honeymoon Phase Short, Sweet and Real Enjoy It but Don't Falsely Prolong It See Strengths Use Momentum Give Up Suspicion Twists and Turns: The Testing Phase First Signs Never, Ever Say... Talk It Out Stay Calm and Hold the Boundary Focus on Your Part When You Need a Coach Never, Never, Never Give Up Win the Day: The Maintenance Phase Don't Kick Back Expand the Privilege Pool Family Check-Ins Stop the Volcano Have Fun No Such Thing as Luck: Helping Your Teen Keep the Momentum Stretch Goals Call on the Home Team Motivating Teens Relapse Prevention Plan School Success Plan Daily Schedule Exercise Sleep Patterns Employment Service Hobbies and Play Social Interactions Your Turn: Parenting-The Number-One Thing Within Your Control Circle of Influence 1. Parenting Leadership Is Essential to Healthy Families. 2. Nurturing the Relationship is a Priority. 3. Clear Expectations Encourage Consistency and Teach Values. 4. Choice and Accountability Invite Growth. 5. Parental Unity Creates Family Stability and Strength. 6. Change Takes Time and Sustained Effort. 7. Parents Are the Most Powerful Agents of Change. The Game of Life: Over-eighteeners The Gap between Treatment and Independent Living Transition Programs Home Failure to Launch Tips to Make a Launch Successful We've Got a Winner: The Role of Aftercare In Long-Term Success Why Aftercare? What Success Looks Like Conclusion References INDEX
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