A smart, funny, provocative guide to the hidden dangers of “parentspeak”—those seemingly innocent phrases parents use when speaking to their young children, from “Good job!” to “Can you say thank you?”—that advocates for a more conscious approach to parenting based on respect and love for the child as an individual.
A smart, funny, provocative guide to the hidden dangers of “parentspeak”—those seemingly innocent phrases parents use when speaking to their young children, from “Good job!” to “Can you say thank you?”—that advocates for a more conscious approach to parenting based on respect and love for the child as an individual.
Jennifer Lehr is the author of PARENTSPEAK: What’s Wrong with How We Talk to Our Children—and What to Say Instead. She’s also the author of Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex, an Elle must-read. She writes about parenting on her site, jenniferlehr.com, and lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two children.
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CONTENTS Introduction: The Pervasiveness of Parentspeak . . . 1 THESE MANIPULATE Chapter 1: “Good Job!” . . . 6 Chapter 2: “Who’s My Big Boy?” . . . 35 THESE OBJECTIFY Chapter 3: “You’re So Cute!” . . . 62 Chapter 4: “Give Grandma a Kiss!” . . . 81 THESE MICRO-MANAGE Chapter 5: “Be Careful!” . . . 100 Chapter 6: “Can You Say ‘Thank You’?” . . . 119 Chapter 7: “Share!” . . . 133 Chapter 8: “Say ‘Sorry’!” . . . 147 THIS DISTRESSES Chapter 9: “Tickle, Tickle, Tickle!” . . . 160 THESE INVALIDATE Chapter 10: “You’re Okay!” . . . 170 Chapter 11: “Behave Yourself!” . . . 191 THESE THREATEN Chapter 12: “I Said, ‘Right Now’!” . . . 209 Chapter 13: “Do You Want a Time-Out?” . . . 225 Chapter 14: “Do You Want a Spanking?” . . . 243 Afterword: All That Said . . . 259 Resources . . . 265 Acknowledgments . . . 271
