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So this tug of war between wife and husband begins regarding what they both need and want. But what is wrong with having BOTH? You never have just steak. You never have just vegetables. There always a combination or two types of food that go into your breakfast, lunch, or dinner. In fact, we often get in trouble when we only snack on foods that we just love without eating a variety. A person can eat fruits and vegetables all day, but again, there is a combination of fruit and vegetables. What couples need to do to improve their relationships is compromise. Both partners must give each other what they need. And yes, I am old-fashioned in my belief that the man must give to his wife first. If he gives EXACTLY what she desires, then she must give back EXACTLY what he wants.