I stood on the deck of the Islander; wind blowing through my hair and thoughts racing through my crowded mind. Although I had taken this journey many times in my life, this time was very different. The closer the ferry got to the Island, the more restrictive my breathing became. I felt suffocated as panic took over; that kind of panic that makes you sweat and feel sick to your stomach; that kind of panic that makes the room spin and makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs, "HELP!!! I can't breathe!!" I felt trapped and I just wanted to jump over the side of the ship and swim back home to safety; to denial; to alcohol, which dulled the pain.
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