Dear Mama, I'm not dead. Sorry for the deception. I've actually spent the last year and a half working for a loud mouthed, alcoholic creature named Gus. And we kill things together. Not people. Things. They're like people most of the time. Sort of. Anyways, Gus and I are seeking revenge together, but my survival is unlikely. I just thought I should prepare you. I may not have been in that fire, but in all probability you'll one day receive a call from some state police officer saying they found my mutilated corpse on the side of the road. Should that happen, I must be cremated as soon as possible. I'm sorry I can't explain more. I hope all is well with you.Love, Millie
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