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Dumbass questions deserve smartass answers! Why does our dog Rufus lick his privates all the time? He's trying to freshen his breath. Can you suggest a quick and easy main dish for the holidays? No. We're thinking of raising chickens. Where should we start? Decide whether you want them for eggs, for meat, or just to scratch around and ruin your flowerbeds. Plus: Inferior Decorating The Life-Changing Magic of Compulsively Folding Your Socks Mindless Meditation Quantum Physics Made Easy Ken Don't Get No Respect ...and billions of other absurd and pointless topics!