Essence of boredom! stupefying Theme! Whereon with eloquence less deep than full, Still maundering on in slow continuous stream, All can expatiate, and all be dull: Bane of the mind and topic of debate That drugs the reader to a restless doze, Thou that with soul-annihilating weight Crushest the Bard, and hypnotisest those Who plod the placid path of plain pedestrian Prose: Lo! when each morn I carefully peruse (Seeking some subject for my painful pen) The Times, the Standard, and the Daily News, No other topic floats into my ken Save this alone: or Dr. Clifford slates Dogmas in general: or the dreadful ban Of furious Bishops excommunicates Such simple creeds as Birrell, hopeful man! Thinks may perhaps appease th¿ unwilling Anglican. Lo! at Society¿s convivial board (Whereat I do occasionally sit, In hope to bear within my memory stored Some echo thence of someone else¿s wit), Or e¿er the soup hath yielded to the fish, A heavy dulness doth the banquet freeze: Lucullus¿ self would shun th¿ untasted dish When lovely woman whispers, ¿Tell me, please, What are Denominational Facilities?¿
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