Praise for Beverly Engel For The Nice Girl Syndrome "Engel, a psychotherapist and domestic violence expert, has sharp words for the 'nice girls' of the world who care more about being perceived as sweet and pleasant than strong and self-protective. Drop the phoniness and passivity, she exhorts, arguing that while society superficially rewards nice girls, they suffer deeply in their intimate and work relationships by losing personal power and parading inauthentic selves. Avoiding conflict and playing naïve may seem to offer payoffs, Engel notes, but the payoffs aren't as big as the price women…mehr
Praise for Beverly Engel For The Nice Girl Syndrome "Engel, a psychotherapist and domestic violence expert, has sharp words for the 'nice girls' of the world who care more about being perceived as sweet and pleasant than strong and self-protective. Drop the phoniness and passivity, she exhorts, arguing that while society superficially rewards nice girls, they suffer deeply in their intimate and work relationships by losing personal power and parading inauthentic selves. Avoiding conflict and playing naïve may seem to offer payoffs, Engel notes, but the payoffs aren't as big as the price women pay for not holding their ground--'They may get taken care of but they aren't respected. They may get special attention but from the wrong kind of people.' Readers will find Engel's elucidation of the four causes of 'Nice Girl Syndrome' and the 'Seven Types of Nice Girls' (e.g., Doormat, Pretender, Prude, Enlightened One) deeply funny and familiar. . . . This book will challenge, entertain, and empower its readers." --Publishers Weekly (starred review) For The Emotionally Abusive Relationship "A good, solid treatment of an insidious but all-too-common type of relationship in which the weapons are words and moods rather than the fist, but which do just as much damage. Most importantly, Ms. Engel doesn't just describe--she shows us the way out." --Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Emotional Blackmail and Toxic Parents For Loving Him without Losing You "A powerful and practical guide to relationships that every woman should read." --Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., author of Are You the One for Me? and Secrets about Men Every Woman Should Know
Beverly Engel, an internationally recognized expert in emotional abuse and a licensed marriage and family therapist for thirty years, is the executive director of Domestic Violence Solutions for Santa Barbara County. She is the author of numerous successful books, including Healing Your Emotional Self, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, and Loving Him without Losing You. Engel has appeared on many national television shows, including Oprah , Starting Over, Donahue, Ricki Lake, and Sally Jessy Raphael, and her work is frequently featured in national magazines and newspapers such as O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, the Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times.
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Acknowledgments.
Introduction.
Part One: Strong Women Aren't Nice.
1. The High Price of Being Too Nice.
2. How did We Get So Nice?
3. The Ten False Beliefs That Set Women Up to Be Used andAbused.
Part Two: From False Beliefs to Empowering Beliefs.
4. Stop Putting Other's Feelings and Needs ahead of YourOwn.
5. Stop Believing That Being Nice Will Protect You.
6. Stop Worrying about What Other People Think of You.
7. Stop Trying to Be Perfect.
8. Stop Being Gullible and Naive.
9. Start Standing Up for Your Rights.
10. Start Expressing Your Anger.
11. Learn How to Handle Conflict.
12. Start Facing the Truth about People.
13. Start Supporting and Protecting Yourself.
Part Three: From Nice Girl to Strong Woman.
14. The Four C's: Developing Confidence, Competence, Conviction,and Courage.
