Meaningful personal change is not an easy thing to achieve. There are many people now in the business of helping you to succeed in that effort. But when the self-help book goes up on the shelf or when the seminar is over and the guru is gone, the experience of most people is the same. You go back to being who you were before. You have little freedom to do anything other than what you've done before, simply because that's what you do. In spite of your best efforts and intent at change, you repeat the same behaviors and get the same outcomes. The key lies in mindfulness. Becoming aware of what's going on through focused attention and observation. Then, consistently applying a new paradigm.
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