'Would you like your bottom wiped by a total stranger.' Life has given Brian Robinson a savage sense of self-mockery. A turbulent and opinionated testament left to two of his nephews, Pockets and Razor. Assuring them of his love, he explains why there comes a time to move on from the terrestrial life that no longer affords him physical intimacy. But life is becoming more complicated, however much tidying up Brian does. The life of The Colonel, the third and despised nephew, begins to unravel as events reveal how the Catholic Macgregor family are inextricably linked to the Robinsons. And what of the unexpected possibility of bonding with the phlegmatic Peter found by chance on a chat-line. A wry urban confessional that combines the complex humanity of White Teeth with the exultant drive to self-disclosure found in The Abomination, Twelve O'clock Feet shows a remarkable individual bending the ear of life with a raucous combination of rant and love song. 'There'll be no resurrection this Easter Sunday.'
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