Twice
Fantasies of Past Loves and Closure
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My name is Ruby and the birthstone Ruby is in part associated with love, passion, and determination. True or not, this proved to be prophetic for me, especially in my later years when I successfully accomplished a very unusual life mission. To explain, I had four love relationships during the course of my life, all very different in age, personality, and typical of New York City, background. Their only commonality was all were intelligent and that was my initial attraction to each. Carlos was a teenage friend I dated but with no "chemistry" between us, he never became a lover. Daniel was next ...
My name is Ruby and the birthstone Ruby is in part associated with love, passion, and determination. True or not, this proved to be prophetic for me, especially in my later years when I successfully accomplished a very unusual life mission. To explain, I had four love relationships during the course of my life, all very different in age, personality, and typical of New York City, background. Their only commonality was all were intelligent and that was my initial attraction to each. Carlos was a teenage friend I dated but with no "chemistry" between us, he never became a lover. Daniel was next and my true soulmate. However, I left him after four years of growing up together since neither of us knew how to handle his drug problem. Larry, a former high school teacher, was during my troubled times with Daniel but our brief relationship ended after I met and married Bruce, my husband for decades. Bruce and I married too young and love soon became frustration due to our basic incompatibility. With an extremely busy life and financial constraints, I no longer believed in "true love" and accepted the status quo as the path of least resistance. When Bruce died unexpectedly, I reflected on my entire life and romantic past, including the feelings due to my age and life experience at the time. Yet each decade redefines one's psychology and historical perspectives. Soon after, I wanted to try to find my two previous and significant lovers, to discover what we really had together as well as to see where life had taken them. This would be closure for me. Now retired, with a wealth of time and financially security, I had the freedom for this exploration. I had always been adventurous and a risk taker. And despite being older, my traitorous body was still the sepulcher of my eternally youthful mind. And so, now I was eager to continue my life journey.
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