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Collected short fiction by Alistair Gentry. A magic talking dog castrates the Estuary Gaffer Tape Rapist with his teeth... A robot maid becomes infatuated with a painting by Gauguin and trades housework for sabotage... Lies and sexual deviance at the offices of Gene, the Magazine for Modern Parents... The last living intellectual escapes from his cage at the zoo and goes on a rampage of contemplation... A bookseller discovers a novel that takes over his life more literally than usual... Love affairs are complicated by spontaneous human combustion, kleptomania and car crashes... Young British Artists discover that some things just aren't art... A psychopath successfully impersonates a doctor, until he drops someone's brain... in the Uncanny Valley.