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Valentine's day: a day when you think they've got the wrong dude; a day when you think you've fallen in love; a day when the greetings card industry thinks all you need is love; a day when you think things can't get any worse; but actually, a day when thinking is best left to thinkers...... When Valentine Pope is questioned at the Department of Fun, he finds it hard to take it seriously. But then he falls in love with an unattainable angel, his house is condemned and he finds himself in the middle of the Crumb uprising. As Valentine's day unfolds, he takes a trip into the Crumbian world of Tarquin Collier, Maggie North and the mysterious Dawn Friday. Follow Pope as the bulldozers come to town and he faces his enemies armed with a pick-axe handle, a sheathed knife and his complete knowledge of the encyclopaedia (minus Volume C).