Diana Mercer, Marsha Kline Pruett
Your Divorce Advisor
A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce
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Diana Mercer, Marsha Kline Pruett
Your Divorce Advisor
A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce
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Diana Mercer, J.D., is a divorce mediator in Santa Monica, California, and a partner in the law firm of Noyes & Mercer, P.C., which specializes exclusively in family relations law.
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Diana Mercer, J.D., is a divorce mediator in Santa Monica, California, and a partner in the law firm of Noyes & Mercer, P.C., which specializes exclusively in family relations law.
Produktdetails
- Produktdetails
- Verlag: Gallery Books
- Original edition
- Seitenzahl: 368
- Erscheinungstermin: 13. Februar 2001
- Englisch
- Abmessung: 215mm x 139mm x 24mm
- Gewicht: 349g
- ISBN-13: 9780684870687
- ISBN-10: 0684870681
- Artikelnr.: 21263617
- Verlag: Gallery Books
- Original edition
- Seitenzahl: 368
- Erscheinungstermin: 13. Februar 2001
- Englisch
- Abmessung: 215mm x 139mm x 24mm
- Gewicht: 349g
- ISBN-13: 9780684870687
- ISBN-10: 0684870681
- Artikelnr.: 21263617
Diana Mercer, J.D., is a divorce mediator in Santa Monica, California, and a partner in the law firm of Noyes & Mercer, P.C., which specializes exclusively in family relations law.
Contents
Foreword
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce:
A View from the Summit
Beginning at the End
Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce
Emotional Guideposts for Divorce
Chapter 2: Planning For Success:
Your Success Depends on the Path You Choose
The First Steps
How Do I Start the Legal Process?
How Could This Be Happening to Our Family?
Why Are My Feelings So Complicated?
What Will My Family and Friends Think About Me?
The Next Steps
What Should I Do Before Leaving?
What If I Can't Mobilize Myself to Do
This Planning?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 3: Making the Initial Decisions:
Charting Your Own Course
What Are My Legal Options for Ending a Relationship?
What Are My Options for Divorce Representation?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Mediator?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Lawyer?
Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal Decisions
How Do I Handle the Conflicts That Arise Between Us as We Prepare to
Divorce?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 4: Steps to Success: Taking one Hill at a Time
Filing for Divorce
Does It Make a Difference Who Files First?
Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers
Arranging for Service of the Papers
The Mandatory Waiting Period
Staying in or Leaving the House
What Are the Legal Issues We Must Settle During the Waiting Period and
Prior to Divorce?
Alimony
Property Division
Personal Property in All Jurisdictions
Assets
How Do We Use Our Assets for Mutual Benefit?
What Should We Do About Our House?
Tax Considerations
Fault
Will Fault Issues in the Divorce Impact Asset and Property Division Even in
"No-Fault" Divorce?
If Fault Rarely Affects Asset and Property Distribution in Court, What Role
Does Fault Play in the Divorce?
What Will Be Happening Between My Spouse and Me During This Time?
Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and Tips
How Do I Manage My Anxiety During This Time?
What If I Have Sex with My Spouse?
What If I Want to Date Someone New?
What Do I Do If I Want to Have a Calmer, Friendlier Divorce but My Lawyer
Has Advised Me to Be Tougher?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 5: Evidence and Pretrial Procedures:
You Can Never Be Too Prepared
Putting the Evidence Together
Discovery: Releases, Interrogatories, Depositions,
and Subpoenas
Hidden Income
Personal and Fault Issues
What Are the Standard Pretrial Procedures?
Court-Sponsored Settlement Conferences
How to Use Pretrial Process
When and Why Should I Go to Trial?
Effecting a Settlement
Personal Assessment
Chapter 6: Trials: Taking the Long, Hard Route
Court Intervention
What Is the Procedure in a Trial?
What Counts as Evidence?
What Documents Are Needed by the Court?
How Can I Do Much of the Work Myself and Save the
Lawyer's Fees?
What Kinds of Witnesses Should I Consider?
What Kinds of Discovery Can Be Used at Trial as
Evidence?
How Do I Prepare for the Financial Part of the Trial?
If I Did Something Along the Way That May Hurt My Case, Should I Lie About
It?
What If My Spouse Is Lying?
What Am I Likely to Be Feeling During the Trial?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 7: Taking Care of Myself and My Children:
How Not to Get Lost
The Decision to Separate
How Do We Tell the Children?
How Will My Children Feel and React?
How Can I Best Help My Children During This Early Stage of Divorce?
Will My Children Be Okay in a Divorced Family?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 8: Legal and Residential Arrangements:
Finding Familiar Paths For Your Family
What Are Our Legal Options for
Raising Our Children After Divorce?
Shared Parenting (Co-parenting) Versus Custody
What Are the Benefits and Drawbacks of Shared
Parenting?
Do Children Fare Better in Shared Parenting Schedules Than in More
Traditional Custody Situations?
Developing a Schedule for Living Arrangements
What Are the Most Common Living Arrangements and Schedules Adopted by
Divorcing Parents?
Are There Alternatives to the Typical Shared Parenting
Plans?
What Are Recommended Schedules for Children of
Different Ages?
Common Misconceptions in Thinking About Shared
Parenting
What Are the Necessary Elements of a Parenting Plan?
What If We Can't Agree?
What Do I Do If My Child Doesn't Want to Visit?
Can I Relocate?
Where Child Support Fits In
What Are Child Support Guidelines?
Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision
Where Child Support Is Spent
Personal Assessment
Chapter 9: Contested Custody Cases:
Hazardous Territory and Loose Footing
When to Consider a Custody Battle
Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved
in a Court Battle
The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case
Evaluations of the Child and Family
How Is an Evaluator Chosen?
What Happens in an Evaluation?
What Are the Criteria Considered in an Evaluation?
How Can I Maximize My Chances of Attaining a
Successful Outcome?
How Does the Court Use Evaluation Recommendations?
In the Event of a Trial
How Do I Help My Children at This Stage?
What Do I Do If I Think My Spouse Has Turned the Children Against Me?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 10: Domestic Violence and Other Forms of Abuse:
When the Route Is Really Dangerous
Definitions of Violence
Patterns of Abusive Relationships
Setting Clear Boundaries for Yourself and Your Children
When Your Children Are Involved and Affected
What If My Child Has Witnessed the Violence?
Assessing and Acting When You Are at Risk
How Do I Recognize Whether I Am at Risk for My Partner's Abuse or
Escalating Violence?
What Do I Do First?
What Constitutes an Abusive Relationship as Far as the Court Is Concerned?
Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders
of Protection
How Should I Prepare to Successfully Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order?
How Do I Enforce the Orders with My Spouse?
Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order
What the Order Can and Cannot Do for You
Children's Involvement in the Legal Process
What If My Child Is the One Being Abused?
Should Any Child Involved in a Violent Family Be Forbidden to See the
Offending Parent?
What If My Children Don't See It My Way?
Emotional Blackmail of Children
Abduction
Personal Assessment
Chapter 11: Life After Divorce:
When the Horizon Beckons Anew
Follow-Up Tasks
To-Do List
Obtain a Certified Copy of Your Final Judgment
Credit Issues
Health Insurance
Social Security
Record Keeping
What Kinds of Changes May Need to Be Made in
the Future?
If You Do Not Have Children
If You Have Children
Enforcement of Orders
Embarking on Your New Life
How Can I Re-create the Healthiest Life for Myself and
My Children?
How Do I Handle Disciplining My Children?
What About My Own Dating and Sex Life?
How Do I Establish New Family Traditions?
Will I Ever Be Free of the Court's Reach?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 12: Conclusions: At the Summit
Appendix
Resources
References
Index
Foreword
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce:
A View from the Summit
Beginning at the End
Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce
Emotional Guideposts for Divorce
Chapter 2: Planning For Success:
Your Success Depends on the Path You Choose
The First Steps
How Do I Start the Legal Process?
How Could This Be Happening to Our Family?
Why Are My Feelings So Complicated?
What Will My Family and Friends Think About Me?
The Next Steps
What Should I Do Before Leaving?
What If I Can't Mobilize Myself to Do
This Planning?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 3: Making the Initial Decisions:
Charting Your Own Course
What Are My Legal Options for Ending a Relationship?
What Are My Options for Divorce Representation?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Mediator?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Lawyer?
Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal Decisions
How Do I Handle the Conflicts That Arise Between Us as We Prepare to
Divorce?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 4: Steps to Success: Taking one Hill at a Time
Filing for Divorce
Does It Make a Difference Who Files First?
Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers
Arranging for Service of the Papers
The Mandatory Waiting Period
Staying in or Leaving the House
What Are the Legal Issues We Must Settle During the Waiting Period and
Prior to Divorce?
Alimony
Property Division
Personal Property in All Jurisdictions
Assets
How Do We Use Our Assets for Mutual Benefit?
What Should We Do About Our House?
Tax Considerations
Fault
Will Fault Issues in the Divorce Impact Asset and Property Division Even in
"No-Fault" Divorce?
If Fault Rarely Affects Asset and Property Distribution in Court, What Role
Does Fault Play in the Divorce?
What Will Be Happening Between My Spouse and Me During This Time?
Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and Tips
How Do I Manage My Anxiety During This Time?
What If I Have Sex with My Spouse?
What If I Want to Date Someone New?
What Do I Do If I Want to Have a Calmer, Friendlier Divorce but My Lawyer
Has Advised Me to Be Tougher?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 5: Evidence and Pretrial Procedures:
You Can Never Be Too Prepared
Putting the Evidence Together
Discovery: Releases, Interrogatories, Depositions,
and Subpoenas
Hidden Income
Personal and Fault Issues
What Are the Standard Pretrial Procedures?
Court-Sponsored Settlement Conferences
How to Use Pretrial Process
When and Why Should I Go to Trial?
Effecting a Settlement
Personal Assessment
Chapter 6: Trials: Taking the Long, Hard Route
Court Intervention
What Is the Procedure in a Trial?
What Counts as Evidence?
What Documents Are Needed by the Court?
How Can I Do Much of the Work Myself and Save the
Lawyer's Fees?
What Kinds of Witnesses Should I Consider?
What Kinds of Discovery Can Be Used at Trial as
Evidence?
How Do I Prepare for the Financial Part of the Trial?
If I Did Something Along the Way That May Hurt My Case, Should I Lie About
It?
What If My Spouse Is Lying?
What Am I Likely to Be Feeling During the Trial?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 7: Taking Care of Myself and My Children:
How Not to Get Lost
The Decision to Separate
How Do We Tell the Children?
How Will My Children Feel and React?
How Can I Best Help My Children During This Early Stage of Divorce?
Will My Children Be Okay in a Divorced Family?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 8: Legal and Residential Arrangements:
Finding Familiar Paths For Your Family
What Are Our Legal Options for
Raising Our Children After Divorce?
Shared Parenting (Co-parenting) Versus Custody
What Are the Benefits and Drawbacks of Shared
Parenting?
Do Children Fare Better in Shared Parenting Schedules Than in More
Traditional Custody Situations?
Developing a Schedule for Living Arrangements
What Are the Most Common Living Arrangements and Schedules Adopted by
Divorcing Parents?
Are There Alternatives to the Typical Shared Parenting
Plans?
What Are Recommended Schedules for Children of
Different Ages?
Common Misconceptions in Thinking About Shared
Parenting
What Are the Necessary Elements of a Parenting Plan?
What If We Can't Agree?
What Do I Do If My Child Doesn't Want to Visit?
Can I Relocate?
Where Child Support Fits In
What Are Child Support Guidelines?
Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision
Where Child Support Is Spent
Personal Assessment
Chapter 9: Contested Custody Cases:
Hazardous Territory and Loose Footing
When to Consider a Custody Battle
Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved
in a Court Battle
The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case
Evaluations of the Child and Family
How Is an Evaluator Chosen?
What Happens in an Evaluation?
What Are the Criteria Considered in an Evaluation?
How Can I Maximize My Chances of Attaining a
Successful Outcome?
How Does the Court Use Evaluation Recommendations?
In the Event of a Trial
How Do I Help My Children at This Stage?
What Do I Do If I Think My Spouse Has Turned the Children Against Me?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 10: Domestic Violence and Other Forms of Abuse:
When the Route Is Really Dangerous
Definitions of Violence
Patterns of Abusive Relationships
Setting Clear Boundaries for Yourself and Your Children
When Your Children Are Involved and Affected
What If My Child Has Witnessed the Violence?
Assessing and Acting When You Are at Risk
How Do I Recognize Whether I Am at Risk for My Partner's Abuse or
Escalating Violence?
What Do I Do First?
What Constitutes an Abusive Relationship as Far as the Court Is Concerned?
Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders
of Protection
How Should I Prepare to Successfully Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order?
How Do I Enforce the Orders with My Spouse?
Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order
What the Order Can and Cannot Do for You
Children's Involvement in the Legal Process
What If My Child Is the One Being Abused?
Should Any Child Involved in a Violent Family Be Forbidden to See the
Offending Parent?
What If My Children Don't See It My Way?
Emotional Blackmail of Children
Abduction
Personal Assessment
Chapter 11: Life After Divorce:
When the Horizon Beckons Anew
Follow-Up Tasks
To-Do List
Obtain a Certified Copy of Your Final Judgment
Credit Issues
Health Insurance
Social Security
Record Keeping
What Kinds of Changes May Need to Be Made in
the Future?
If You Do Not Have Children
If You Have Children
Enforcement of Orders
Embarking on Your New Life
How Can I Re-create the Healthiest Life for Myself and
My Children?
How Do I Handle Disciplining My Children?
What About My Own Dating and Sex Life?
How Do I Establish New Family Traditions?
Will I Ever Be Free of the Court's Reach?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 12: Conclusions: At the Summit
Appendix
Resources
References
Index
Contents
Foreword
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce:
A View from the Summit
Beginning at the End
Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce
Emotional Guideposts for Divorce
Chapter 2: Planning For Success:
Your Success Depends on the Path You Choose
The First Steps
How Do I Start the Legal Process?
How Could This Be Happening to Our Family?
Why Are My Feelings So Complicated?
What Will My Family and Friends Think About Me?
The Next Steps
What Should I Do Before Leaving?
What If I Can't Mobilize Myself to Do
This Planning?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 3: Making the Initial Decisions:
Charting Your Own Course
What Are My Legal Options for Ending a Relationship?
What Are My Options for Divorce Representation?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Mediator?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Lawyer?
Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal Decisions
How Do I Handle the Conflicts That Arise Between Us as We Prepare to
Divorce?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 4: Steps to Success: Taking one Hill at a Time
Filing for Divorce
Does It Make a Difference Who Files First?
Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers
Arranging for Service of the Papers
The Mandatory Waiting Period
Staying in or Leaving the House
What Are the Legal Issues We Must Settle During the Waiting Period and
Prior to Divorce?
Alimony
Property Division
Personal Property in All Jurisdictions
Assets
How Do We Use Our Assets for Mutual Benefit?
What Should We Do About Our House?
Tax Considerations
Fault
Will Fault Issues in the Divorce Impact Asset and Property Division Even in
"No-Fault" Divorce?
If Fault Rarely Affects Asset and Property Distribution in Court, What Role
Does Fault Play in the Divorce?
What Will Be Happening Between My Spouse and Me During This Time?
Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and Tips
How Do I Manage My Anxiety During This Time?
What If I Have Sex with My Spouse?
What If I Want to Date Someone New?
What Do I Do If I Want to Have a Calmer, Friendlier Divorce but My Lawyer
Has Advised Me to Be Tougher?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 5: Evidence and Pretrial Procedures:
You Can Never Be Too Prepared
Putting the Evidence Together
Discovery: Releases, Interrogatories, Depositions,
and Subpoenas
Hidden Income
Personal and Fault Issues
What Are the Standard Pretrial Procedures?
Court-Sponsored Settlement Conferences
How to Use Pretrial Process
When and Why Should I Go to Trial?
Effecting a Settlement
Personal Assessment
Chapter 6: Trials: Taking the Long, Hard Route
Court Intervention
What Is the Procedure in a Trial?
What Counts as Evidence?
What Documents Are Needed by the Court?
How Can I Do Much of the Work Myself and Save the
Lawyer's Fees?
What Kinds of Witnesses Should I Consider?
What Kinds of Discovery Can Be Used at Trial as
Evidence?
How Do I Prepare for the Financial Part of the Trial?
If I Did Something Along the Way That May Hurt My Case, Should I Lie About
It?
What If My Spouse Is Lying?
What Am I Likely to Be Feeling During the Trial?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 7: Taking Care of Myself and My Children:
How Not to Get Lost
The Decision to Separate
How Do We Tell the Children?
How Will My Children Feel and React?
How Can I Best Help My Children During This Early Stage of Divorce?
Will My Children Be Okay in a Divorced Family?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 8: Legal and Residential Arrangements:
Finding Familiar Paths For Your Family
What Are Our Legal Options for
Raising Our Children After Divorce?
Shared Parenting (Co-parenting) Versus Custody
What Are the Benefits and Drawbacks of Shared
Parenting?
Do Children Fare Better in Shared Parenting Schedules Than in More
Traditional Custody Situations?
Developing a Schedule for Living Arrangements
What Are the Most Common Living Arrangements and Schedules Adopted by
Divorcing Parents?
Are There Alternatives to the Typical Shared Parenting
Plans?
What Are Recommended Schedules for Children of
Different Ages?
Common Misconceptions in Thinking About Shared
Parenting
What Are the Necessary Elements of a Parenting Plan?
What If We Can't Agree?
What Do I Do If My Child Doesn't Want to Visit?
Can I Relocate?
Where Child Support Fits In
What Are Child Support Guidelines?
Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision
Where Child Support Is Spent
Personal Assessment
Chapter 9: Contested Custody Cases:
Hazardous Territory and Loose Footing
When to Consider a Custody Battle
Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved
in a Court Battle
The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case
Evaluations of the Child and Family
How Is an Evaluator Chosen?
What Happens in an Evaluation?
What Are the Criteria Considered in an Evaluation?
How Can I Maximize My Chances of Attaining a
Successful Outcome?
How Does the Court Use Evaluation Recommendations?
In the Event of a Trial
How Do I Help My Children at This Stage?
What Do I Do If I Think My Spouse Has Turned the Children Against Me?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 10: Domestic Violence and Other Forms of Abuse:
When the Route Is Really Dangerous
Definitions of Violence
Patterns of Abusive Relationships
Setting Clear Boundaries for Yourself and Your Children
When Your Children Are Involved and Affected
What If My Child Has Witnessed the Violence?
Assessing and Acting When You Are at Risk
How Do I Recognize Whether I Am at Risk for My Partner's Abuse or
Escalating Violence?
What Do I Do First?
What Constitutes an Abusive Relationship as Far as the Court Is Concerned?
Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders
of Protection
How Should I Prepare to Successfully Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order?
How Do I Enforce the Orders with My Spouse?
Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order
What the Order Can and Cannot Do for You
Children's Involvement in the Legal Process
What If My Child Is the One Being Abused?
Should Any Child Involved in a Violent Family Be Forbidden to See the
Offending Parent?
What If My Children Don't See It My Way?
Emotional Blackmail of Children
Abduction
Personal Assessment
Chapter 11: Life After Divorce:
When the Horizon Beckons Anew
Follow-Up Tasks
To-Do List
Obtain a Certified Copy of Your Final Judgment
Credit Issues
Health Insurance
Social Security
Record Keeping
What Kinds of Changes May Need to Be Made in
the Future?
If You Do Not Have Children
If You Have Children
Enforcement of Orders
Embarking on Your New Life
How Can I Re-create the Healthiest Life for Myself and
My Children?
How Do I Handle Disciplining My Children?
What About My Own Dating and Sex Life?
How Do I Establish New Family Traditions?
Will I Ever Be Free of the Court's Reach?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 12: Conclusions: At the Summit
Appendix
Resources
References
Index
Foreword
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce:
A View from the Summit
Beginning at the End
Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce
Emotional Guideposts for Divorce
Chapter 2: Planning For Success:
Your Success Depends on the Path You Choose
The First Steps
How Do I Start the Legal Process?
How Could This Be Happening to Our Family?
Why Are My Feelings So Complicated?
What Will My Family and Friends Think About Me?
The Next Steps
What Should I Do Before Leaving?
What If I Can't Mobilize Myself to Do
This Planning?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 3: Making the Initial Decisions:
Charting Your Own Course
What Are My Legal Options for Ending a Relationship?
What Are My Options for Divorce Representation?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Mediator?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Lawyer?
Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal Decisions
How Do I Handle the Conflicts That Arise Between Us as We Prepare to
Divorce?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 4: Steps to Success: Taking one Hill at a Time
Filing for Divorce
Does It Make a Difference Who Files First?
Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers
Arranging for Service of the Papers
The Mandatory Waiting Period
Staying in or Leaving the House
What Are the Legal Issues We Must Settle During the Waiting Period and
Prior to Divorce?
Alimony
Property Division
Personal Property in All Jurisdictions
Assets
How Do We Use Our Assets for Mutual Benefit?
What Should We Do About Our House?
Tax Considerations
Fault
Will Fault Issues in the Divorce Impact Asset and Property Division Even in
"No-Fault" Divorce?
If Fault Rarely Affects Asset and Property Distribution in Court, What Role
Does Fault Play in the Divorce?
What Will Be Happening Between My Spouse and Me During This Time?
Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and Tips
How Do I Manage My Anxiety During This Time?
What If I Have Sex with My Spouse?
What If I Want to Date Someone New?
What Do I Do If I Want to Have a Calmer, Friendlier Divorce but My Lawyer
Has Advised Me to Be Tougher?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 5: Evidence and Pretrial Procedures:
You Can Never Be Too Prepared
Putting the Evidence Together
Discovery: Releases, Interrogatories, Depositions,
and Subpoenas
Hidden Income
Personal and Fault Issues
What Are the Standard Pretrial Procedures?
Court-Sponsored Settlement Conferences
How to Use Pretrial Process
When and Why Should I Go to Trial?
Effecting a Settlement
Personal Assessment
Chapter 6: Trials: Taking the Long, Hard Route
Court Intervention
What Is the Procedure in a Trial?
What Counts as Evidence?
What Documents Are Needed by the Court?
How Can I Do Much of the Work Myself and Save the
Lawyer's Fees?
What Kinds of Witnesses Should I Consider?
What Kinds of Discovery Can Be Used at Trial as
Evidence?
How Do I Prepare for the Financial Part of the Trial?
If I Did Something Along the Way That May Hurt My Case, Should I Lie About
It?
What If My Spouse Is Lying?
What Am I Likely to Be Feeling During the Trial?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 7: Taking Care of Myself and My Children:
How Not to Get Lost
The Decision to Separate
How Do We Tell the Children?
How Will My Children Feel and React?
How Can I Best Help My Children During This Early Stage of Divorce?
Will My Children Be Okay in a Divorced Family?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 8: Legal and Residential Arrangements:
Finding Familiar Paths For Your Family
What Are Our Legal Options for
Raising Our Children After Divorce?
Shared Parenting (Co-parenting) Versus Custody
What Are the Benefits and Drawbacks of Shared
Parenting?
Do Children Fare Better in Shared Parenting Schedules Than in More
Traditional Custody Situations?
Developing a Schedule for Living Arrangements
What Are the Most Common Living Arrangements and Schedules Adopted by
Divorcing Parents?
Are There Alternatives to the Typical Shared Parenting
Plans?
What Are Recommended Schedules for Children of
Different Ages?
Common Misconceptions in Thinking About Shared
Parenting
What Are the Necessary Elements of a Parenting Plan?
What If We Can't Agree?
What Do I Do If My Child Doesn't Want to Visit?
Can I Relocate?
Where Child Support Fits In
What Are Child Support Guidelines?
Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision
Where Child Support Is Spent
Personal Assessment
Chapter 9: Contested Custody Cases:
Hazardous Territory and Loose Footing
When to Consider a Custody Battle
Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved
in a Court Battle
The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case
Evaluations of the Child and Family
How Is an Evaluator Chosen?
What Happens in an Evaluation?
What Are the Criteria Considered in an Evaluation?
How Can I Maximize My Chances of Attaining a
Successful Outcome?
How Does the Court Use Evaluation Recommendations?
In the Event of a Trial
How Do I Help My Children at This Stage?
What Do I Do If I Think My Spouse Has Turned the Children Against Me?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 10: Domestic Violence and Other Forms of Abuse:
When the Route Is Really Dangerous
Definitions of Violence
Patterns of Abusive Relationships
Setting Clear Boundaries for Yourself and Your Children
When Your Children Are Involved and Affected
What If My Child Has Witnessed the Violence?
Assessing and Acting When You Are at Risk
How Do I Recognize Whether I Am at Risk for My Partner's Abuse or
Escalating Violence?
What Do I Do First?
What Constitutes an Abusive Relationship as Far as the Court Is Concerned?
Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders
of Protection
How Should I Prepare to Successfully Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order?
How Do I Enforce the Orders with My Spouse?
Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order
What the Order Can and Cannot Do for You
Children's Involvement in the Legal Process
What If My Child Is the One Being Abused?
Should Any Child Involved in a Violent Family Be Forbidden to See the
Offending Parent?
What If My Children Don't See It My Way?
Emotional Blackmail of Children
Abduction
Personal Assessment
Chapter 11: Life After Divorce:
When the Horizon Beckons Anew
Follow-Up Tasks
To-Do List
Obtain a Certified Copy of Your Final Judgment
Credit Issues
Health Insurance
Social Security
Record Keeping
What Kinds of Changes May Need to Be Made in
the Future?
If You Do Not Have Children
If You Have Children
Enforcement of Orders
Embarking on Your New Life
How Can I Re-create the Healthiest Life for Myself and
My Children?
How Do I Handle Disciplining My Children?
What About My Own Dating and Sex Life?
How Do I Establish New Family Traditions?
Will I Ever Be Free of the Court's Reach?
Personal Assessment
Chapter 12: Conclusions: At the Summit
Appendix
Resources
References
Index