Absolutely Smashing It (eBook, ePUB)
When #fml means family
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***Unmissable, hilarious and kind, this is the first novel from Kathryn Wallace, who blogs as I Know, I Need to Stop Talking***"SAM! AVA! Get downstairs, NOW. Have you done your TEETH? HAIR? SHOES? Come on, come on, come on, we're going to be bastarding late again. No, I haven't seen Lego Optimus Prime, and nor do I give a shit about his whereabouts. Sam, will you stop winding your sister up and take this model of the Shard that I painstakingly sat up and created for you last night so that I wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher. I mean, so that you wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher....
***Unmissable, hilarious and kind, this is the first novel from Kathryn Wallace, who blogs as I Know, I Need to Stop Talking***
"SAM! AVA! Get downstairs, NOW. Have you done your TEETH? HAIR? SHOES? Come on, come on, come on, we're going to be bastarding late again. No, I haven't seen Lego Optimus Prime, and nor do I give a shit about his whereabouts. Sam, will you stop winding your sister up and take this model of the Shard that I painstakingly sat up and created for you last night so that I wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher. I mean, so that you wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher. No, it doesn't smell of 'dirty wine'. Well, maybe it does a little bit. Look, Sam, I haven't got time to argue. Just hold your nose and get in the car, okay? AVA! TEETH! HAIR! SHOES!"
Gemma is only just holding it together - she's a single parent, she's turning 40 and her seven-year-old daughter has drawn a cruelly accurate picture which locates Gemma's boobs somewhere around her knees. So when her new next-door neighbour, Becky, suggests that Gemma should start dating again, it takes a lot of self-control not to laugh in her face.
But Becky is very persuasive and before long Gemma finds herself juggling a full-time job, the increasingly insane demands of the school mums' Facebook group and the tricky etiquette of a new dating world. Not only that, but Gemma has to manage her attraction to her daughter's teacher, Tom, who has swapped his life in the City for teaching thirty six to seven year olds spelling, grammar, basic fractions - and why it's not ok to call your classmate a stinky poo-bum...
It's going to be a long year - and one in which Gemma and Becky will learn a really crucial lesson: that in the end, being a good parent is just about being good enough.
Readers love this hilarious, fast paced slice of family life:
***** Utterly hysterical - NetGalley Reader
***** Brilliant... Funny, touching and modern... just amazing - NetGalley Reader
***** I have been a mum at the school gates and the observations in this book are spot on. I shall be recommending it to all the school mums I know - NetGalley Reader
**** A perfect read to snort with laughter over whilst lying in a bath with a glass of bubbles (if you can get the kids to stay out of the bathroom for long enough)! - NetGalley Reader
**** Kathryn Wallace has Absolutely Smashed It with this novel. I loved it and couldn't put it down... had me properly laughing out loud several times - NetGalley Reader
**** This will make you giggle about life as a parent where we are all spinning plates of different sizes and at different speeds. I would recommend wholeheartedly to fellow friends who are also spinning their own plates! - NetGalley Reader
***** A hilariously, honest, open, recognisable and highly relatable story - NetGalley Reader
***** A light hearted but honest look at mummies, yummy mummies and can't quite manage everything mummies - NetGalley Reader
"SAM! AVA! Get downstairs, NOW. Have you done your TEETH? HAIR? SHOES? Come on, come on, come on, we're going to be bastarding late again. No, I haven't seen Lego Optimus Prime, and nor do I give a shit about his whereabouts. Sam, will you stop winding your sister up and take this model of the Shard that I painstakingly sat up and created for you last night so that I wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher. I mean, so that you wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher. No, it doesn't smell of 'dirty wine'. Well, maybe it does a little bit. Look, Sam, I haven't got time to argue. Just hold your nose and get in the car, okay? AVA! TEETH! HAIR! SHOES!"
Gemma is only just holding it together - she's a single parent, she's turning 40 and her seven-year-old daughter has drawn a cruelly accurate picture which locates Gemma's boobs somewhere around her knees. So when her new next-door neighbour, Becky, suggests that Gemma should start dating again, it takes a lot of self-control not to laugh in her face.
But Becky is very persuasive and before long Gemma finds herself juggling a full-time job, the increasingly insane demands of the school mums' Facebook group and the tricky etiquette of a new dating world. Not only that, but Gemma has to manage her attraction to her daughter's teacher, Tom, who has swapped his life in the City for teaching thirty six to seven year olds spelling, grammar, basic fractions - and why it's not ok to call your classmate a stinky poo-bum...
It's going to be a long year - and one in which Gemma and Becky will learn a really crucial lesson: that in the end, being a good parent is just about being good enough.
Readers love this hilarious, fast paced slice of family life:
***** Utterly hysterical - NetGalley Reader
***** Brilliant... Funny, touching and modern... just amazing - NetGalley Reader
***** I have been a mum at the school gates and the observations in this book are spot on. I shall be recommending it to all the school mums I know - NetGalley Reader
**** A perfect read to snort with laughter over whilst lying in a bath with a glass of bubbles (if you can get the kids to stay out of the bathroom for long enough)! - NetGalley Reader
**** Kathryn Wallace has Absolutely Smashed It with this novel. I loved it and couldn't put it down... had me properly laughing out loud several times - NetGalley Reader
**** This will make you giggle about life as a parent where we are all spinning plates of different sizes and at different speeds. I would recommend wholeheartedly to fellow friends who are also spinning their own plates! - NetGalley Reader
***** A hilariously, honest, open, recognisable and highly relatable story - NetGalley Reader
***** A light hearted but honest look at mummies, yummy mummies and can't quite manage everything mummies - NetGalley Reader
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