It has been a long, long road from that skinny kid who took his first verbal abuse at just five years of age. Wandering around the playground with a glob of spit hanging off my face and thinking "What the flip just happened?" I was far too young to know the word fuck, so flip was all I had.
The road took me on many adventures, not all good, not all great but some fantastic, some just fucking fantastic.
From a terrified youth running as fast as I could from a gruesome thug, armed with knife and full of bad intent toward me, to a husband and dad, standing in front of the family home facing yet another monster armed with blade and again terrified but not letting this fucker know it. I had a family to protect and nothing, nobody was going to harm them. Years of combat training and practicing fear control was going to see to that. It worked because knife man and his band of three apologised to me and left the area.
Not just the physical either. The everyday took its toll. My lack of confidence and constantly scanning for the next beating made me a dopey pupil to work with. I struggled to concentrate but did I, at the age of thirteen deserved to be called "thick as pig shit" by a loving father?
Enter an English teacher who looked out for me, taught me to write as she said I had talent and her faith paid off. Stood on the stage years later receiving an award for British Book of the Year 2016 for From Bullied to Black Belt and memories of loving dad where nowhere to be seen but gratitude to an adult who helped me through remained.
The same father forced me into his factory for my adult employment. Ambitions of drumming for a living must not fester, yes once a week in white Karate pajamas is more than enough but as much pub time as you want and yes, I will fire you and make you homeless if you as much look like stepping out of line.
A breakdown at a very young age, sick with fear every time I walked through the door yet years later, I was the last member of my family to walk out of those doors of that same factory as I bought it to a close. I was the only one strong enough to stay the pace.
Don't get me started on the gunmen who I was only able to face via the courage travelling away from home to fight and train with the best in the world. Travelling away from home. Imagine that, a man who suffered from agoraphobia and struggled with a five-minute walk to the local shop now driving hours and hours to fight European Champions and grapple with Russian Wrestlers.
From a stock room in a sports centre to a full-time professional fight academy. From teaching a couple of mates for fun to visiting other British dojos and giving instruction to a mat full of fighters. From a talk at a local school to interviews on the BBC, the New York Post and more. From a piece in the local rag to a six-page feature in a prestigious magazine.
So why now and what is in these pages? Well as Billy Connolly once said, "the Winter plumage is now on." There are more years behind me than there are in front but I still believe I have a lot to offer and so I want to keep trying.
The first two books contained here, From Bullied to Black Belt, written raw, naive but honest and the sequel An Everyday Warrior, later on in life after terrific adversity but more polished (better speeling, I mean spelling), offer you my life in your hands.
What follows, My Fear, Your Fear is a collection of stories, poems, meditations and tales I have gathered on the way. Some are mine; some are borrowed from others, but all are honest or based on true tales. Some I have written with a twist for the entertainment of it but have background in truth and others I have changed slightly to protect friends and enemies.
But all are from the heart, all have been lived, all have made people laugh, cry and some both but all I think, I hope to have given me the right to be called British...
The road took me on many adventures, not all good, not all great but some fantastic, some just fucking fantastic.
From a terrified youth running as fast as I could from a gruesome thug, armed with knife and full of bad intent toward me, to a husband and dad, standing in front of the family home facing yet another monster armed with blade and again terrified but not letting this fucker know it. I had a family to protect and nothing, nobody was going to harm them. Years of combat training and practicing fear control was going to see to that. It worked because knife man and his band of three apologised to me and left the area.
Not just the physical either. The everyday took its toll. My lack of confidence and constantly scanning for the next beating made me a dopey pupil to work with. I struggled to concentrate but did I, at the age of thirteen deserved to be called "thick as pig shit" by a loving father?
Enter an English teacher who looked out for me, taught me to write as she said I had talent and her faith paid off. Stood on the stage years later receiving an award for British Book of the Year 2016 for From Bullied to Black Belt and memories of loving dad where nowhere to be seen but gratitude to an adult who helped me through remained.
The same father forced me into his factory for my adult employment. Ambitions of drumming for a living must not fester, yes once a week in white Karate pajamas is more than enough but as much pub time as you want and yes, I will fire you and make you homeless if you as much look like stepping out of line.
A breakdown at a very young age, sick with fear every time I walked through the door yet years later, I was the last member of my family to walk out of those doors of that same factory as I bought it to a close. I was the only one strong enough to stay the pace.
Don't get me started on the gunmen who I was only able to face via the courage travelling away from home to fight and train with the best in the world. Travelling away from home. Imagine that, a man who suffered from agoraphobia and struggled with a five-minute walk to the local shop now driving hours and hours to fight European Champions and grapple with Russian Wrestlers.
From a stock room in a sports centre to a full-time professional fight academy. From teaching a couple of mates for fun to visiting other British dojos and giving instruction to a mat full of fighters. From a talk at a local school to interviews on the BBC, the New York Post and more. From a piece in the local rag to a six-page feature in a prestigious magazine.
So why now and what is in these pages? Well as Billy Connolly once said, "the Winter plumage is now on." There are more years behind me than there are in front but I still believe I have a lot to offer and so I want to keep trying.
The first two books contained here, From Bullied to Black Belt, written raw, naive but honest and the sequel An Everyday Warrior, later on in life after terrific adversity but more polished (better speeling, I mean spelling), offer you my life in your hands.
What follows, My Fear, Your Fear is a collection of stories, poems, meditations and tales I have gathered on the way. Some are mine; some are borrowed from others, but all are honest or based on true tales. Some I have written with a twist for the entertainment of it but have background in truth and others I have changed slightly to protect friends and enemies.
But all are from the heart, all have been lived, all have made people laugh, cry and some both but all I think, I hope to have given me the right to be called British...
Dieser Download kann aus rechtlichen Gründen nur mit Rechnungsadresse in A, B, CY, CZ, D, DK, EW, E, FIN, F, GR, H, IRL, I, LT, L, LR, M, NL, PL, P, R, S, SLO, SK ausgeliefert werden.