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  • Format: ePub

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other. First Dates: An honest and humorous account of my adolescent 'relationships' with the models in mail-order catalogues. Lamb 197: A lost Cumbrian lamb re-unites with its mother, leading to realisations about the relationship I have with my own. The Fabricheads: Dark imaginations of a town (in Wales) where trepanning is practiced, leading to improved intellectual function and enlightenment for its residents. Falling Down, Granola and the Water Bowl: After a hard day's work, I am confronted with mounting bills and suffer a cartoon mini-breakdown. He Played…mehr

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Produktbeschreibung
Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other. First Dates: An honest and humorous account of my adolescent 'relationships' with the models in mail-order catalogues. Lamb 197: A lost Cumbrian lamb re-unites with its mother, leading to realisations about the relationship I have with my own. The Fabricheads: Dark imaginations of a town (in Wales) where trepanning is practiced, leading to improved intellectual function and enlightenment for its residents. Falling Down, Granola and the Water Bowl: After a hard day's work, I am confronted with mounting bills and suffer a cartoon mini-breakdown. He Played Eight: Mortifying infant embarrassment when forced to sing in class. Pretty Things: In a refuge I stayed in as a child, I sit and watch three women tattoo each other's hands, before another woman enters. I become transfixed by her, as she tip-toes barefoot with dancer-like prowess through the room. Nan Love: My nan had recently had a fall and I'd gone to visit her, but as I hugged her, I felt something soft and malleable in my hand… Knit Love Not War: After learning to knit, I have an idea to create a more peaceful world through 'Knit and Natter' parties. Islands in the Stream: A fanciful tale about the relationship between Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. A story about love, rejection and a song ruined with cringy 'aha's'. Grand Theft Auto: Bunking off school with friends, we break into an abandoned car and discover how flammable the stringy seat stuffing is. A fire soon gets out of hand. Calling Orson: Growing up with a violent stepdad and an absence of love expressed from my mother, I fall for a newly acquired puppy, Orson. Supermarket Sweep: Day 10 of Lockdown; observations of a hellish trip to the supermarket in the weirdest of times. Wedding Photography - The Stakeout: Roped-in as an assistant wedding photographer, I find myself in a socially awkward situation. Run with Wolves: Coming to terms with raising an 'alpha-female' puppy. Ediz Caught Wanking: A teenage friendship is shattered by devastating embarrassment. Terror at the Tills: Bored with pilfering from supermarkets, I create a mischievous new game. Power & Responsibility: A farcical letter to the electricity company. Going for Gold: A yearning for approval from my mother finds me excelling with Olympian-like focus on school sports day as she is unable to attend. Crossroads: At an impressionable age I find myself with the wrong crowd. With pressure growing on me to pick people's pockets, I'm faced with a moral dilemma.. This Ol' House: A fabricated story about integrity and the commodification of music, based around the idea of Shakin' Stevens as an icon of authenticity. Fray Bentos: Days before Christmas I despair of people, but then witness an act of goodwill, restoring my faith. A Christmas Glory: Fuelled by sexual energy, I explore the concept of good and evil while watching the Queen's speech on Christmas day.


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Autorenporträt
After a short time spent sleeping on London's Circle Line, as a child I toured the capital, staying in a succession of refuges, tents and narrowboats. Although traumatic, it was a time rich with experience and freedoms most don't enjoy. Left to create my own life-map, I relied on nothing but hard-wired survival skills to get me through the many schools I attended, leaving with an O Level in Art and a handful of cardboard Sports Day medals.

Picking up a guitar - along with recreational drugs - I found therapy through an anarchic yet unsustainable lifestyle. After numerous shitty jobs and spells of unemployment, I cleaned up my act (a bit) and rediscovered a child-like wonder with the natural world - a connection that has ultimately been my saviour.

Seduced by mountains, I headed for the wilds of Cumbria, where with a Blues Harp I busked and played in local bars, before a virus with a household name had its way and a shocking end of an unhealthy relationship left me facing homelessness.

I love to amuse myself and make sense of things, and have always kept a diary and scribbled on the back of envelopes; caught in the flow. Now with head and heart aligned, I write in earnest, most mornings while it's still dark.