I thought I could be happy doing something else, maybe living a marital life and having lots of children, which was something I was looking forward to; but I kept on dragging myself into a hole, finding the wrong partners and insisting in wanting something that was out of my control and reach.
I had lots of fun, but I also felt I needed a wife. But since this seemed a very hard thing to find, I started to put my focus on my writings and expressing myself in as many different ways I could possibly think of. As writing and making music were two of the things that I could do to find peace and love within myself, I then decided to go back and started learning the process of making music from scratch.
I didn't know how to do it by myself. I had no instructions either or somebody I could count on to help. I was riding alone and it felt like fighting my own demons, which made it more difficult for me. But thanks to my burning desire, my persistence, my dreams and faith, I was able to find myself and restore what I once had lost.
Now all I can think of is writing and making music, but I still have got lots of mental blockages in my head, which prevents me from moving forward in life. So I am struggling and finding my way out, which I am still working on; but I'm still taking time to get it right and to come out on top.
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