When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different?
In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.
Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read.
In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.
Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read.
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"As revelatory as it is straightforward...nicely accessible...[Perel] offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." - Publishers Weekly
"Perel tells us why intimacy can feel imprisoning and how we can embrace the erotic-without leaving home. Her writing is fresh and provocative, in a class by itself." - Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
"Her advice is refreshingly counterintuitive." - Salon.com
"Mating in Captivity takes a hard line against one of the most time-honored institutions in human history: the sexless marriage...It reads like a cross between the works of Jacques Lacan and French Women Don't Get Fat." - The New Yorker
"Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." - The Evening Standard (London)
"An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary and anthropological references." - Daily Telegraph (London)
"An academic perspective on the deterioration of sex in relationships...Perel offers insightful, progressive theories on how to put the play back into partnerships." - Daily Record & Sunday Mail
"A charming blend of wit and wisdom...this book will give you a fresh perspective on long-term love." - Gold Coast Bulletin (Australia)
"Well argued points written with considerable eloquence." - Jerusalem Post
"This is a brave book...refreshing." - The Times Higher Education Supplement
"So honest it hurts." - Irish Times
"An excellent book, full of provocative prose and entertaining case illustrations." - Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
"Perel tells us why intimacy can feel imprisoning and how we can embrace the erotic-without leaving home. Her writing is fresh and provocative, in a class by itself." - Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
"Her advice is refreshingly counterintuitive." - Salon.com
"Mating in Captivity takes a hard line against one of the most time-honored institutions in human history: the sexless marriage...It reads like a cross between the works of Jacques Lacan and French Women Don't Get Fat." - The New Yorker
"Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." - The Evening Standard (London)
"An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary and anthropological references." - Daily Telegraph (London)
"An academic perspective on the deterioration of sex in relationships...Perel offers insightful, progressive theories on how to put the play back into partnerships." - Daily Record & Sunday Mail
"A charming blend of wit and wisdom...this book will give you a fresh perspective on long-term love." - Gold Coast Bulletin (Australia)
"Well argued points written with considerable eloquence." - Jerusalem Post
"This is a brave book...refreshing." - The Times Higher Education Supplement
"So honest it hurts." - Irish Times
"An excellent book, full of provocative prose and entertaining case illustrations." - Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy