He'd laughed when we'd been given these rooms (he'd needed the laugh then) and I had ruined years of tradition when I took the big Lord's Bedroom (the housekeeper had to be taken downstairs and plied with a restorative probably this side of the pond's equivalent of Long Island Iced Tea) (I heard it wasn't iced and there was very little tea involved), (according to the Boot Boy), and left the smaller Lady's Bedroom for Jeb.
I might have been robbed of my honeymoon dreams but I wasn't going to be robbed of his presence. I'm old fashioned enough, or is that new fashioned enough to expect my husband to sleep in the same bed, at least until the honeymoon is over. The Housekeeper probably would have needed another bottle of restorative if she knew that the Boot Boy and I, and another ragtag pre-teen actor, who had a bit part in the historical drama taping in the castle and around and about, and had gone home, had added bed boards and a few fist sized rocks under the narrow little bed in the Lady's Bedroom making it hard as sleeping on concrete with the added pleasure of lumps, and not the pea-sized lumps the Princess found under her twenty mattresses but nice big fat lumps. If Jeb wanted to sleep in the other room he could. If he wanted his sleep to be restful he'd do what every man in his right mind who wanted a restful sleep would do and join me in the featherbed softness of the big bed in the Lord's Bedroom.
I'll admit that his first couple of weeks of restful sleep weren't all that restful. Not in the way you're thinking of, mind you, and it was my honeymoon and something was expected, wasn't it? Not "Ouch, Ouch, damn it Duke!" and me left carrying a humongous tote around like I was a bag lady. "That tote doesn't match any of my dresses. It doesn't match this one either."
"Babe, it's not long now."
Oh, it would probably be as long as he could stretch it out. "Even the Duchess knows not to get in a car when the Duke is behind the wheel. And that car? Only an idiot would get into that car willingly." I checked my hair again in the mirror. "Dumb and Dumber," I pronounced. "I'm ready as I'll ever be." I slipped the strap of the tote up over my shoulder and watched it distort the neckline of my dress. I waited for Jeb to get himself up off the bed. It was a really nice featherbed and wanted to clutch the sleeper into dreamland.
"Ouch. Ouch. Damn it Duke!" He rolled himself into the position the physical therapist had taught him and then pushed himself to sitting and waited.
"Don't make such a production of just getting off the bed. The tail bone is a tiny little bone. Don't turn into an actor and make it seem like big trouble. Before this you didn't even know you had one to break."
"Bruised. The doctor said bruised. After four weeks and I'll be good as new."
"Well, this is week three and a half." I shook the tote at him, "And I'm still carrying this around like it belongs to me." I reached out and gave him a hand up to his feet so I didn't have to hear a replay of 'Ouch, Ouch, Damn it Duke!'
Maybe I should mention that Jeb and the Duke of Whatever Wherever were now fast friends who had bonded over the Duchess's recent birthday present.
Dumb and Dumber had to go pick it up.
"Why did you ever get in that death trap he called a car?"
"He couldn't go alone."
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