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A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will gain clarity; | reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; | feel more empowered and in control of their lives; |…mehr
A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior
The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will
gain clarity;
reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction;
feel more empowered and in control of their lives;
discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable.
Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts.
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Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. In addition to her training with the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) and the Somatic Experiencing® Trauma Institute (SETI), Vicki has trained extensively with Pia Mellody, one of the pioneers in the treatment of childhood trauma, boundaries, and love addiction, a condition often associated with partners of addicts. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts (vickitidwellpalmer.com/blog).
Inhaltsangabe
Table of Contents A Word about Pronouns Acknowledgments Introduction Chapter One: Your Future Is Not Your Past The Courageous Journey The Transformational Power of Boundaries The Fog of Addiction Partners of Sex Addicts: Co-Addicts or Trauma Survivors? The Way Out Chapter Two: Not All Forms of Addiction Are Created Equal: What You Need to Know About Sex Addiction The ABCs of Addiction What Sets Sex Addiction Apart The Sex Addiction "Excuse” Basics of First-Year Sex Addiction Recovery Recovery "Slips” and Relapses How Partners Are Impacted Your Self-Care in Early Discovery Chapter Three: First Things First: How to Recognize a Good Boundary When You See One The Human Urge Toward Safety Boundaries Are Everywhere Common Misconceptions and Myths about Boundaries The Five Boundaries Boundaries at the Extremes What Are Boundary Violations? Non-negotiable Relationship Boundaries What Good Boundaries Can Do for You Common Boundaries Set by Partners of Sex Addicts Chapter Four: Boundary Solution Step 1: Knowing and Owning Your Reality Why You've Struggled to Know Your Reality How Deception Creates Trauma and Distorts Your Reality How to Identify Your Reality in Three Steps What About Intuition? Reality Checking EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 1 Chapter Five: Boundary Solution Step 2: Getting Your Needs Met Knowing Your Needs The "Honesty Problem” in Early Recovery from Sex Addiction Tolerating the Intolerable A Partner's Bill of Rights Creating a Vision of Needs Fulfilled EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 2 Chapter Six: Boundary Solution Step 3: Identifying Your Power Center Power, Authentic Power, and Power Over How Partners Lose Power Vanish the Victim Collaborative Transparency Your Higher Power Identify Your Power Center EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 3 Chapter Seven: Boundary Solution Step 4: Creating and Implementing Your Action Plan The Four Possible Actions Contracts and Expectations Demands, Ultimatums, and Requests How to Make Effective Requests Best Practices for Presenting a Request Partner's Challenges to Taking Action Implementing Your Action Plan Examples of Requests Made by Partners of Sex Addicts Your Partner's Rights when Receiving a Request EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 4 Chapter Eight: Boundary Solution Step 5: Evaluate Your Results: Mission Accomplished . . . or Not: When Boundaries Are Broken Celebrate Your Success! When You Don't Get the Outcome You Wanted The Boundary Was Broken . . . What Now? Your Options for Handling Broken Agreements and Boundary Violations Self-Care, Consequences, and Punishment Commit-with Confidence-to Your Consequence EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 5 Chapter Nine: Speed Bumps, Roadblocks, and Crash Landings: Hidden Barriers to Boundary Work and What to Do about Them Esteem and Worth Difficulty with Emotional Regulation Family and Financial Considerations Addiction or Untreated Mental Health Concerns Overvaluing the Relationship or the Addict (Love Addiction) Family of Origin and Preexisting Adult Trauma Secrets Situations of Domestic Abuse Chapter Ten: Burning Is Learning: How Your New Boundary Muscle Will Keep You Strong and Serene for a Lifetime Chapter Eleven: Partners Beyond Betrayal: Trust, Gratitude, and Forgiveness Will I Ever Trust Again? Gratitude Forgiveness Appendix 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier Boundary Evaluation How to Take a Relational Time-Out in Six Steps Listening Format Needs Inventory Overview of the Boundary System Stages of Healing for Partners of Sex Addicts Suggested Recovery Check-In Items for Sex Addicts and Their Partners Talking Format and Request Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Love Addiction Test Recommended Reading Additional Resources Author Resources and Programs
Table of Contents A Word about Pronouns Acknowledgments Introduction Chapter One: Your Future Is Not Your Past The Courageous Journey The Transformational Power of Boundaries The Fog of Addiction Partners of Sex Addicts: Co-Addicts or Trauma Survivors? The Way Out Chapter Two: Not All Forms of Addiction Are Created Equal: What You Need to Know About Sex Addiction The ABCs of Addiction What Sets Sex Addiction Apart The Sex Addiction "Excuse” Basics of First-Year Sex Addiction Recovery Recovery "Slips” and Relapses How Partners Are Impacted Your Self-Care in Early Discovery Chapter Three: First Things First: How to Recognize a Good Boundary When You See One The Human Urge Toward Safety Boundaries Are Everywhere Common Misconceptions and Myths about Boundaries The Five Boundaries Boundaries at the Extremes What Are Boundary Violations? Non-negotiable Relationship Boundaries What Good Boundaries Can Do for You Common Boundaries Set by Partners of Sex Addicts Chapter Four: Boundary Solution Step 1: Knowing and Owning Your Reality Why You've Struggled to Know Your Reality How Deception Creates Trauma and Distorts Your Reality How to Identify Your Reality in Three Steps What About Intuition? Reality Checking EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 1 Chapter Five: Boundary Solution Step 2: Getting Your Needs Met Knowing Your Needs The "Honesty Problem” in Early Recovery from Sex Addiction Tolerating the Intolerable A Partner's Bill of Rights Creating a Vision of Needs Fulfilled EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 2 Chapter Six: Boundary Solution Step 3: Identifying Your Power Center Power, Authentic Power, and Power Over How Partners Lose Power Vanish the Victim Collaborative Transparency Your Higher Power Identify Your Power Center EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 3 Chapter Seven: Boundary Solution Step 4: Creating and Implementing Your Action Plan The Four Possible Actions Contracts and Expectations Demands, Ultimatums, and Requests How to Make Effective Requests Best Practices for Presenting a Request Partner's Challenges to Taking Action Implementing Your Action Plan Examples of Requests Made by Partners of Sex Addicts Your Partner's Rights when Receiving a Request EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 4 Chapter Eight: Boundary Solution Step 5: Evaluate Your Results: Mission Accomplished . . . or Not: When Boundaries Are Broken Celebrate Your Success! When You Don't Get the Outcome You Wanted The Boundary Was Broken . . . What Now? Your Options for Handling Broken Agreements and Boundary Violations Self-Care, Consequences, and Punishment Commit-with Confidence-to Your Consequence EXERCISE: Boundary Solution Step 5 Chapter Nine: Speed Bumps, Roadblocks, and Crash Landings: Hidden Barriers to Boundary Work and What to Do about Them Esteem and Worth Difficulty with Emotional Regulation Family and Financial Considerations Addiction or Untreated Mental Health Concerns Overvaluing the Relationship or the Addict (Love Addiction) Family of Origin and Preexisting Adult Trauma Secrets Situations of Domestic Abuse Chapter Ten: Burning Is Learning: How Your New Boundary Muscle Will Keep You Strong and Serene for a Lifetime Chapter Eleven: Partners Beyond Betrayal: Trust, Gratitude, and Forgiveness Will I Ever Trust Again? Gratitude Forgiveness Appendix 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier Boundary Evaluation How to Take a Relational Time-Out in Six Steps Listening Format Needs Inventory Overview of the Boundary System Stages of Healing for Partners of Sex Addicts Suggested Recovery Check-In Items for Sex Addicts and Their Partners Talking Format and Request Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Love Addiction Test Recommended Reading Additional Resources Author Resources and Programs
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