"I saw the bench that had been almost like a home, or at least a refuge, to me for several hours last night. I had the urge to sit there and get my thoughts together. I tried to do so, but the moment I sat down I was immediately compelled to do something else even more strongly. It was as if while I slept my subconscious had come up with a plan to improve the odds of my survival and decided to act upon the plan before letting me in on it..."
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