Stop Enabling. Start Living. (eBook, ePUB)
Help for Parents of Highly Dependent Adult Children
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When your child is an adult, there is no more parenting work left to do. The time to raise, teach, imbue, educate, and [fill in the blank] is over. It was over long ago. The problem is no longer about 'parenting'-it is about how you view your role as a parent. Parents of highly dependent adult children find this hard to take. I learned this working as a clinician. These clients were caring individuals. They were also exhausted and confused, despite being intelligent and quite wise in other realms of their life. Despite loving their kids, and liking them, too. But the kid they loved wouldn't 'a...
When your child is an adult, there is no more parenting work left to do. The time to raise, teach, imbue, educate, and [fill in the blank] is over. It was over long ago. The problem is no longer about 'parenting'-it is about how you view your role as a parent. Parents of highly dependent adult children find this hard to take. I learned this working as a clinician. These clients were caring individuals. They were also exhausted and confused, despite being intelligent and quite wise in other realms of their life. Despite loving their kids, and liking them, too. But the kid they loved wouldn't 'adult.' The parents stepped in over and over. They had stopped expecting that their child could figure things out-albeit imperfectly-for themselves. This perpetuated the problem for everyone. Parents, if you are reading this, you didn't cause your child's failure to launch, but you're likely contributing to it and have for a long time. Help and hope is available. Stop Enabling. Start Living. offers distilled insights gleaned during my decades of clinical work with families, adult children of aging parents, and the parents themselves. This short read is packed with information you'll return to over and over, help that will guide you toward a better relationship with yourself and, by extension, a more realistic, mutual relationship with your child. Meredith Gordon, L.C.S.W., worked in healthcare for two decades and maintains a strong interest in the expressive arts. She is the creator of ShameRecovery.com and The Writer's [Inner] Journey. Her work appears in the Washington Post, Newsweek, JAMA, Journal of Palliative Care.com, Los Angeles Times, Motherwell, Lilith and others, and is a blogger for Psychology Today. Meredith created the 'Surviving Narcissism' series, with sales to date topping 25,000 copies, and is coauthor of All The Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss.
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