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I’m just a cute blonde coed who came to the docks today to collect for charity. I didn’t expect to find a real-live pirate ship there. And I certainly didn’t expect a horde of vile, cackling freebooters to come storming out of the sinister galleon to seize me and haul me aboard and subject me to long hours of terrible sexual indignities. And the most terrible part of all is how much I enjoy it!