I have read books about, and spoken with, people who have had bad experiences with pastors who have seemingly "crossed the line" in the exercise of their authority. In some of these cases I could see immediately that the person's concern was valid. In others, it was not as clear.
As a pastor, my first reaction was to evaluate myself. Am I in any way abusing the authority given to me in the role? The answer was not as clear as just saying, "To the best of my knowledge I am doing just fine." I know that over my sixteen years as pastor I have offended various people. Sometimes out of ignorance, and sometimes I really thought I was helping them. In most cases I (of course) feel that I was justified in my behavior, and that they were just being overly-sensitive. In the cases where I recognized that I was wrong, I went to these people and made amends. So, where is the problem? The problem is that for you to do a job right, you must clearly understand what the job is, and what is expected from you.
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