In the seventies, she struggled to find her way in this world. During the eighties, she got help for her mental issues and started taking medication. She often took out her frustrations in life out on Nisey, even trying to take her life and Nisey at the time. She somehow thought they were better off dead in her mind. During this time, Nisey had many wonderful people in her life to help her manage the hard times. During the nineties, her mama felt that she will hurt you before you hurt her. She would cuss out at anyone whom she felt was a threat to her or her children all while being controlling of Nisey's life.
She was married with children, and her mama was controlling her household. She knew in her heart that she did love her. She wouldn't give up on her mama. At the age of twenty-nine, she started seeking God. She took control of her life, and at the age of forty-four, in 2012, she was bedridden from her many back surgeries. Her mama was there for every surgery and almost every doctor's appointment. Something wonderful began to happen, and she and her mama's broken relationship began to mend. There was forgiveness, and an explosion of love filled both of their hearts. When her mama died on May 23, 2019, three days before her birthday, she realized that fifty years of her life was entangled in her mama's life of mental illness. Everything that she had endured as a child and adult was because of her mama trying to cope with her issues. It was at that moment that she realized that this book was about her mama who was like a caterpillar that evolved into this beautiful butterfly. That's why this story had to be written as a therapy for herself and to share her mama's life who had mental health issues. This is a real illness and is too often not dealt with in black families.
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