Charlena Smith is living proof that every one of us has the ability to overcome adversity time and time again and create the most extraordinary life we can imagine. When Charlena was in her early 20s she 'had it all' by nearly every definition. She was the first in her family to go away to college, and went on to earn four undergraduate and three graduate degrees, as well as a traditional MBA. She was a full time College professor and researcher of human communication at Towson University, and the COO of 83North, a thriving marketing company. She was married to a brilliant NASA rocket scientist, and they lived in a beautiful rural home: white picket fence, dog and all. When Charlena decided to expand her family: things got complicated. Two back to back pregnancies with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) which, is consistent, ever-present vomiting, was hard. She was hospitalized and fed intravenously through total parenteral nutrition (TPN) lines. When she had her second child, the HG never lifted. She pursued specialist after specialist for answers to no avail. Without a non-bias partner to serve as a mirror, Charlena found herself in a complex kind of denial about her medical condition, and found that working,, was easier than not. So she kept at her role as full time professor, and COO, and added to the list 'PhD' candidate. She continued to pursue answers for what was going on inside her body, and had nearly starved to death when she finally had a break-through moment. And so the long and winding road to healing, by nearly dying, began. At 30 years of age, with two children under two, Charlena and her family were told there was no chance of survival. When her heart continued to beat long after her projected expiration date, despite Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS), multiple collapsed lungs, and an open wound in her abdomen from her chest to her hip bone, she was told she would never be able to sit up on her own again, let alone stand or walk. She would never be able to eat, or speak, and would be on a ventilator for the rest of her life. Defying the logic of doctors and the temptation of taking on a victim mentality, she has gone on, through years of rehab, to not only walk and talk, but RUN, leap and play with her husband and two beautiful children. As a professor, on the first day of class each semester, Charlena would share the analogy of a 'full' life in terms of the empty or full jar to her grad students. She'd stand at the front of the room with a mason jar and fill it with two-inch rocks. She'd ask the class if the jar was full? Yes, they'd agree. Then she would pour a box of pebbles into the jar and they would roll into the open areas between the rocks. Again, she'd ask if the jar was full. The students would chuckle and agree that, yes, this time it was full. She'd then begin to let loose a handful of sand into the jar. The sand would trickle in and filled the space. Full? The class would more ask then answer: "Yes?" Then she'd pour from her own water bottle to 'truly' fill the jar. The point being that if they wanted a truly full and complete life, they should put the big rocks in first! Charlena's jar had been completely emptied for her. She was in the ICU on life support, being read her final rights. She had to make a decision. She CHOSE to put 'herself' back in that jar first. She worked hard to do it. First, at not dying. Then at the basic steps of living: learning to breathe, sit, stand, walk, talk, and drink again. Then she got to CHOOSE what to put back in her jar. At what speed and in what order. From that moment on: Charlena's life has been incredibly intentional. And the result of living a life that is in alignment with her purpose and her values: there, in the filling of her own jar, were the beginnings of Guided Accountability. She developed and used the process to transform her reality to define a new possibility for her future.
