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He's the beauty. She's the beast. Theodora Stewart, Occupation: Bee Biologist That's it. I've had enough. My new neighbor has been sending threatening letters for months and is now suing me. He's trying to force me to remove the beehives from my backyard. (What kind of jerk doesn't understand how important bees are?) It turns out he's some famous quarterback named Gabriel "Beauty" Bardales. (Why do jocks give each other dumb nicknames?) He wants my beehives removed because he claims the bees are interfering with his guesthouse swimming pool. Well, guess what? My bees were here long before his guesthouse swimming pool. (Who needs a guesthouse swimming pool anyway? Talk about overprivileged.) I've tried contacting him, but he's ignored all my efforts. So now I've taken matters into my own hands. Gabriel "Beauty" Bardales, Occupation: NFL Quarterback Help! Some kooky woman has chained herself to my house, and I can't get rid of her!