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This book began as an ongoing journal after the author retired, sensitively relating her changing perceptions on life, dreams and memories, then, with the occurance of more major events: the death of her son and of her beloved mother after a difficult period of dementia, became a story of the lonely search for a fullfilling sexual relationship. This eventually had surprisingly dramatic results: affairs with three interesting men, the last of whom was an idealistic activist (with one disturbing bi-polar episode of mania), with whom she shared the most ecstatic and transformative sexual merging of either of their lives.