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One, two, three, four-I can never quite get to five. The highway is a frightening place to face my fears or to test if I even have any fears. The fact that I can never get past four seconds lets me know that I still care about my own life. The feeling of closing my eyes for those four seconds, I experience it all. I live my whole life in every second that goes by. It passes by like the cars that I speed past, with confused and concerned faces. So instead of counting past four, I write about what it feels like to sum up my life in just a couple seconds, or in this case, a couple poems that allow me to refuse those urges that I am still fighting: the demons of depression and anxiety that tightly grab a hold of me.