On the surface, Joe Conniff grew up in a seemingly stereotypical suburban New England household. But behind those doors he witnessed the overprescribing of opioids to his mother, combined with the ups and downs of his father's often illegitimate occupation and unpredictability of life as a teenager. Eventually Joe found solace and relief in substances when looking for a way to escape the unpleasantness of life. That search for relief and identity took him from east coast white suburbia to military service, and finally grief, desperation and survival on the streets of the Pacific Northwest. Written from the perspective of recovery and having found happiness without the use of substances, Joe shares his experiences and insight about how he became a product of his environment growing up, and how confusion and conflict in the human condition led him to full blown addiction. This is an in-depth book about the causes and conditions of his extreme substance use, as well as the casues and conditions of his recovering from addiction.