"I know why you're here. It's the same reason I once had: your heart is full of white caps, and you need a can opener for your mind." With these words, author Miles Skeffington sets the stage for an entertaining romp of mishap and redemption, unbridled lust and the restless quest for meaning, a smart, twisty tale involving cam girls, aliens, testy Rastafarians, explosions, genetic engineering, and, of course, a sociopathic cat. "Every news outlet in the world was covering the same story: a door had opened on one of the spaceships. It was the ship just a few blocks from my apartment, above the Krebsburg Tower building. Massive, Times Square-sized crowds formed beneath the ship. People shot off fireworks, unfurled whale-sized banners with phrases like, WELCOME SPACE GUESTS (plus a few weird ones, like a giant banner from Pizza Hut with their take-out number on it, and, my favorite: PEE ON US)." Skeffington's page-turning classic of sagey wit reveals the ultimate secret behind humankind's strength amidst a pitched battle to save a beloved yet dilapidated planet, even while delighting readers with the everyday details of practical life, such as how to open a bank safety deposit box with a fragmentation grenade, or the simple reason why men with erections can't think (average blood volume of the brain: 130 ml; average blood volume of an erection: 130 ml). "It can be so difficult to express how one feels about Existence - about the fact that one is here, that one gets to be ALIVE for a little while. Sometimes the urge to express something about this is so immense, the challenge so unsurmountable, the attempts so woeful, it can almost feel like a great suffering. But, every now and then, an artist comes along who comes close. And it's hard to know which is better: the art, or the fact that it relieves the rest of us from the burden of having to try so much, and fail so miserably, at least for a time." There are lots of ways to disrespect the one, precious life you get to lead, frivolously spending a couple hours doing nothing productive. Adding yourself to the elite group that has read this contemporary masterpiece is up there amongst the best of choices.
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