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The Wee Treasury of Alternative Swear Options for New Parents

...and for Those Who Want to Keep it Mild

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Swearing is all fun and games until you reach the point in your life where you need to find a milder way to express your emotional exasperation. Perhaps you have become a new parent, or are starting a new job. Or maybe you are hosting an upcoming church picnic. Relax! "The Wee Treasury of Alternative Swear Options for New Parents...And for Those who Want to Keep it Mild" has you covered. Through extensive research on a limited basis, the author has not only compiled humorous alternate expressions to use where you traditionally would swear - but they show you were they are used no matter what s...

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Marston Lyons has been a purveyor of humor since the third grade. Since that time Marston has quietly honed their humorous view of life as a serious coping skill for whatever path they walked along. Fortunately, there was plenty to laugh about along the way - most notably it was Marston's grade school impromptu performance art of "Alien Hand Syndrome" which was inspired by "The Weekly World News" (and made their mom and sister laugh so much with many command performances requested). Despite being told by their high school science class lab partner, "You're not funny, you know," Marston's humorous ways persisted. Marston later developed a laughter-through-anxiety writing method while they struggled to find a way to survive alone in New York City in a low paying entry level publishing job. From this traumatic experience, Marston's first book was written/born: "How to Survive and Thrive in New York on $19,000 a Year (or Less) Before Taxes." Marston unexpectedly became aware that they were a humor writer when they took a poetry class in New York City. As Marston read aloud what they thought were deep and poignant thoughts, scattered laughter sprang up from multiple sources in the classroom around them. Although crushed and hotly embarrassed, Marston went along with these precious haunting scribbles as being deliberately humorous - and then enrolled in a TV sitcom writing class instead. Since that time, Marston's writing reawakened after having children and were thrilled when they had some humorous essays published online, and flattered when they were subsequently published in a book. Marston created a blog "Fortyteen Candles" about a decade ago which helped them learn how to quickly craft an essay. That blog made Marston proud because they learned how to connect with other people through writing. Since then, while muddling through the inertia of the 9 to 5 grind, Marston has finally accepted that creativity is what makes them feel content. Marston finds these writings both therapeutic and healing. Marston hopes you can relate to their books by finding something in them that makes you feel happy as well!